Feeling Good
by DArtagnan09
Summary: Barry's new forensic assistant isn't what anyone expected, especially Iris. How will Cal find her place among our super group? Will that place come with a new romance? Barry/OC, only a little Iris bashing in the first installment. Now featuring additional snippets and oneshots, not necessarily in order. Rating has been increased to M for sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

This ended up with a lot more Iris in it than anticipated, but it made for a better semblance of storyline and I went with it. Set in a slight AU where Iris figured that Flash shit out real quick - she's shallow and selfish, but Joe didn't raise no dummy. I took some liberties with the timeline as well...Barry told Iris how he felt very early on, the lightning spark experience happened very shortly after, and Barry and Joe are just beginning to investigate Harrison Wells when this starts.

I don't own the Flash or the songs Feeling Good or Everybody Talks. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

"An assistant? I don't...? Why do I need an assistant?" Barry Allen's voice was confused as he spoke to his foster father, Detective Joe West.

"I'm pretty sure Singh thinks having responsibility for a subordinate will keep you better on time," Joe chuckled as he walked with Barry to the young CSI's lab. "Or, more likely, he hired someone he thinks will make you stay on time."

"I mean, it's not that I mind, it'll actually be a huge help, giving me an extra pair of hands to make up for when the Flash is busy. I just don't know how I feel about being somebody's supervisor. I'm not exactly boss material, Joe."

"Last I checked, Bar, you were a superhero leading a group of quasi-mad scientists on daily excursions to eliminate crime in Central City. Not boss material? Really?"

Barry was blushing at this point, stopped just outside the closed door to his lab. "Well, I mean, when you put it that way..."

"I did put it that way. So come on, Boss. Let's meet this assistant." Joe was opening the door now. "I think he said the name was Parks?"

"That he did. Cal Parks, it's nice to meet you!" At first all they could see was a mass of red curls, as the girl (woman?) was crouched by the desk, head bent over to search through her bag. "Aha!" She stood, slipping a pair of turquoise glasses onto her nose before holding out her hand to shake. "You must be Barry Allen," she said to the younger man. "I'm glad to be working under someone who understands what it's like to be so young in our field, I hope you don't mind having a shadow."

"Uh, no, not at all!" Barry said as he shook her hand. She was about his age, with blazing green eyes to go with her blazing red hair. She was dressed comfortably and only semi-professionally, dark skinny jeans under a white button down and grey vest, green Chuck Taylors on her feet. "It's, uh, it's nice to meet you too. This is, Detective Joe West. We work closely with him and Detective Thawne."

"Welcome to the team, Parks," Joe smiled as he shook her hand. Cal smiled in return.

"Thank you, Detective. I'm brand new in Central City, so this is all an adventure for me, I look forward to learning the ropes."

"Well, I'll leave you guys to it. I'm sure we'll see each other soon, Parks." Joe left with a wave, leaving them alone as the door swung shut.

"Alright, so," Barry started. "The tour. Right here is the centrifuge, as you can see..."

* * *

"Is this...ELO?"

Barry had stopped in the door to his lab, coffees in hand, baffled at the music playing from Cal's open laptop. They had been working together for just under a month and had found themselves to be fast friends and efficient coworkers. Cal hadn't questioned his sudden comings and goings, only providing him with finished results and reports when he showed back up. He noticed the occasional look from her, though, as though she were considering him very closely, but she never said anything and he never asked.

"Yeah!" she called brightly from underneath his work table. "I can turn it off in a second, I hope it doesn't bother you."

"No, it doesn't bother me, I actually love ELO," Barry said, setting their coffees down and heading over to the laptop to inspect the playlist. "You don't have to turn it off, I don't mind listening while we work. What are you doing down there?"

"Dropped some results," she answered as she pulled back and stood up, sheet of paper in hand. "Blood work from that home invasion the other day, fresh off the printer. The suspect in custody is our man, no question. I just sent the email to - ooh is one of those for me?"

"Plenty of cream, plenty of sugar, and a touch of coffee to go with," Barry grinned. "You know, your music library is..."

"Eclectic?"

"I mean, is this Bobby Darin, Jason Derulo, and Sublime all on the same playlist?"

"Well yeah. They all make me smile. Why shouldn't they all be on a playlist called Smile?"

"There's even a smiley face emoji."

"It seemed appropriate. I warn you, I sing along. If that's not okay turn the music off now because there's no stopping me."

Barry laughed as the song changed over to a ballad from the 50s. "Just don't expect me to serenade you back."

"Ooh, can you sing?"

* * *

Iris strolled through the police department towards the desks of her father and boyfriend, the latter of which was the only one in sight. "Hey Eddie!"

Eddie's head came up and a grin split his face. "Hey babe," he said as she leaned down for a kiss. "What are you doing here?"

"Just came to visit all my favorite boys. Where are the other two?" Iris looked around but her father and foster-brother were nowhere to be seen. Eddie gathered the papers he had just finished working on and rose from his chair, offering her his arm.

"Well you have perfect timing, I was just heading down to the Jukebox myself, they should be there."

"The Jukebox?"

"I forget how busy you've been lately, this is the first time you've been to the station in what, three months? You haven't met Barry's assistant Callie yet, she's been here about that long."

Iris heard the music before they reached the bottom of the stairs. "What on Earth...?"

Eddie grinned over at her. "Everyone at the station has started calling the lab the Jukebox because of Callie. She plays different music every day and she never stops singing. Sometimes Barry even joins in."

"Barry only sings under duress, and that's from almost 20 years of experience."

"Well, he's really good."

The door to the lab was open and a light female voice was singing along to Nina Simone's Feeling Good.

 _"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me..."_

Joe spotted them immediately when they entered the lab, gathering his daughter into his arms for a hug. "Hey sweetie, haven't seen you here in a while."

"Just wanted to visit. I haven't met Barry's new assistant, either."

Only then did the singing stop and a head of thick curls poked out from behind a cabinet. "Oh, you must be Iris! I've heard great things!" Barry's head poked out from the other side of the cabinet, smiling wide.

"Oh hey Iris! What are you doing here?"

"Just stopping to say hey. Nice to meet you, Callie."

"You too! And Cal will do just beautifully, if you don't mind," Cal said, ducking back behind the cabinet even as Barry stood and brushed himself off.

"We can finish the cords after lunch, Cal, I'm starving." He grabbed both of her hands in his own and hauled her to her feet.

"Fine by me! You brought breakfast, I've got lunch."

"You know you always regret that."

"We're having all you can eat Chinese buffet. Eat away, Hollow Leg Man. Do you guys want to come? My treat?" Cal was bent over her computer now, turning off the music, but she looked up at the others.

"Thanks Cal, but Eddie and I have some things to do around here," Joe answered.

"What about you, Iris?" Cal asked, pulling her hair into a knot at the base of her skull.

"Uh, no thank you, I need to get back to the paper. I've got a deadline tomorrow."

"Maybe next time." Cal smiled at her before turning to Barry. "Ready?"

"Yeah." Barry slung his jacket over his arm and waved as he and Cal left their lab.

"I like her," Eddie grinned at Joe and Iris. "I think Barry _really_ likes her."

"What?" Iris exclaimed. "No way. She's not even his type."

"A funny, pretty scientist with a voice like a songbird?" Joe raised an eyebrow. "What part of that isn't Barry's type?"

"He would have told me if he liked someone."

"Maybe you shouldn't be so sure of that," her father said as he left the room, signaling Eddie to join him. Iris missed the tightening around the younger detective's eyes as he kissed her cheek before following, leaving her to the now-empty lab.

What Iris hadn't missed was the way Barry grabbed Cal with both hands to help her stand, holding on to make sure she was steady. Or how one of those hands was at the small of her back as they left the lab. She didn't have a deadline at the paper, but the thought of going to lunch with the two of them made her stomach lurch in ways she didn't understand.

She had told Barry all those months ago that she didn't think about him as anything other than a friend, but that was before she knew he was the Flash. She would never admit out loud her crush on the Flash - he was brave, heroic, and literally dashing - everything a woman could dream of. She had been so confused when she felt that spark, the spark that told her the Flash's true identity, and had tried to deny it initially. It was Absolutely Not Possible for Barry - her awkward, bumbling, full nerd Barry - to be the Flash. Absolutely. Not. Possible. She could not reconcile her crush with her foster brother, and denied it all outright.

So she had stayed with Eddie. And she was happy, she really was. But there was a part of her that liked knowing Barry would be there should anything happen. This sudden burst of jealousy was unexpected and unwelcome, but Iris knew it must come from somewhere. Something was off about Cal, and Iris knew she couldn't be the right person for Barry. That's why she was so upset by his apparent attraction.

* * *

Iris was almost glad for the constant stream of metahumans for the following two weeks, as it kept Barry out of his forensic lab and, consequently, away from Cal. She spent as much time at S.T.A.R. Labs as she could, claiming Barry's evenings for dinners with Joe, coffee with Eddie, and karaoke bars with Cisco and Caitlin where Barry adamantly refused to sing.

Now everyone was gathered for Joe's birthday at his home, and Barry was the last to arrive as usual, though Iris only perked up for a moment as the door opened and it wasn't Barry's voice she heard first.

"Peter Capaldi is the epitome of everything the Doctor should be!"

"If it weren't for David Tennant the show wouldn't have been nearly as successful and Peter Capaldi may not even be the Doctor."

"People who haven't watched Classic Who shouldn't be allowed to have an opinion," Cal groused as she followed Barry through the front door. Joe was the first to reach them, hugging Barry and then, to Iris's surprise, Cal.

"Happy Birthday Joe! Thank you so much for inviting me, my first present is throwing Barry under the bus for taking so long at the lab he made us late."

"Oh thank you, I love it!"

Barry sputtered next to her. "And it had nothing to do with the 20 minutes I spent on your couch while you 'changed clothes real fast'?"

"I'm a girl, Barry, you should really learn to account for things like that."

While Cal had met everyone in passing, at the very least, this was the first time she'd spent time with them outside of her lab. She was dressed in her casual attire, a long sleeved blue cotton dress that fluttered at her knees and short brown boots, comfortable for a warm late spring day. She added her wrapped gift to the table, greeting everyone as she passed, stopping to shake Dr. Wells's hand.

"Hey Iris! Sorry I rushed out after we met the other day," she said, taking a seat next to Iris on the couch. "I get pretty hangry, I've learned not to put off meal times. It probably wouldn't have been the best first impression."

"Oh I feel you there," Cisco said seriously from Iris's other side.

"That's fine," Iris said before rising from the couch and moving across the room to where her father spoke to Barry. Cal furrowed her brow and looked at Cisco.

"Did I say something wrong?"

Cisco shrugged. "Sounded fine to me."

Caitlin was sitting next to him on the arm of the couch, and leaned into the conversation. She had noticed Iris's bizarre behavior over the past two weeks and it hadn't been a struggle to figure her out. "They've been best friends since they were kids, I'm sure you know Joe raised him after he was 11. They went through a...rough patch not too long ago and I don't think things are quite back to normal." She chose her next words carefully, wanting to be honest without telling anyone else's secrets. "I think she might be scared of losing her place in his life to you."

Cal only raised one eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed. "If they're that close she shouldn't have any reason to worry about that - giving me the cold shoulder doesn't do anybody any favors, and is quite frankly childish."

Both Cisco and Caitlin opened their mouths, then shut them, shrugging. She had a point.

Cal shrugged as well, having a suspicion about the situation and choosing to let the woman's attitude roll off. "Her problem, not mine."

"Hey, Iris," Barry said, hugging her when she reached his side.

"Hey Bar," she said back. "I didn't know you were bringing Cal today."

"I invited her," Joe said. "She moved here alone and doesn't really know anybody else, and besides, she's a good kid and I like her. Any friend of Barry's is always welcome here," he nodded at his foster son, who grinned in return.

"Yeah, she's going to the karaoke bar with us later too," Barry said. "Her sister's been in town for the past two weeks so she wasn't able to go out before, but she's excited to get to know everyone."

"Oh, that's great," Iris said with what she hoped was sincerity. That's just great.

* * *

The bar was pleasantly full and everyone but Barry was pleasantly buzzed. He looked to his right, where Cal sat. Everyone else was either in the bathroom or grabbing more drinks. "What are you drinking? I've never seen you drunk before."

Cal grinned. "You probably never will, this is just sweet tea. I don't drink."

Barry perked up. He didn't know that, and he hadn't noticed she wasn't drinking. "Really? Why?"

"I just don't really like the way it makes me feel. It's definitely not worth the puking if I overdo it."

"Fair enough," Barry shrugged. "Why'd you come to the bar, then?"

"I just like spending time with friends, it doesn't matter where. Thanks for inviting me, by the way. This time and all the times I couldn't go."

"You're always welcome to come out with me. Us. I mean...me."

Cal gazed at him for just a second before grinning slowly. "Noted."

"Okay so don't be mad," Caitlin said abruptly, dropping into the seat next to Barry as she returned with Cisco with more drinks.

"About what?" Barry asked. At that moment, Barry's name appeared on the screen on stage, indicating he was the next person signed up. He narrowed his eyes at Caitlin.

" I signed you up to sing," she said, embarrassed.

"Caitlin! Why?"

"Because I don't believe that you can!" Cisco said, pointing at Barry in accusation.

"Don't believe Barry can what?" Eddie asked as he returned with Iris from what was supposed to be the restroom, but judging from the tightly controlled calm on both their faces was more likely a fight outside.

"Sing. No way." Cisco insisted.

"He totally can," Cal grinned, resting her chin on her palms.

"Don't believe you."

"I can actually confirm that he can," Eddie said, letting himself grin, trying to enjoy the evening.

"I'm not singing," Barry said firmly, crossing his arms for emphasis.

"Oh, come on Bar," Iris cajoled, ignoring the way Eddie looked away from her at her tone. "Please? You hardly ever sing for anyone, I haven't heard you in years."

But he wasn't moved. "Not gonna happen."

"You sang with me on that very stage!" Caitlin said. "A showtune, no less!"

"You were incredibly drunk and needed the rescue!"

"You sing in the lab all the time," Cal smirked. Iris tried not to bristle at what had to be an exaggeration.

"That's in the privacy of my lab with my very good friend."

"What if I go up there with you?" the redhead offered.

To Iris's dismay, Barry appeared to be seriously considering it. "What song?"

"I'll pick one that suits you, promise."

"...alright fine. Let's get this over with."

Cal whooped with glee, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him towards the stage. She found a song she approved of quickly and selected it before Barry had a chance to tell her no. He glared at her for it, and when Cal spoke the microphones were turned on.

"Whaaat? You're good, you should show off a little."

When the song started, most of the group was surprised at the selection.

 _"Aah, aah, ahh_

 _Hey baby, won't you look my way, I could be your new addiction_

 _Hey baby, whatcha gotta say, all you're givin' me is fiction"_

Cal forced Barry to take the lead, only joining in for harmony and backup parts. When it was over Barry wasted no time getting back to his seat at their table, with Cal following behind him in giggles.

"Oh calm down, Barry, you sounded great! You always do! Some of those officers that swing by our lab for no reason are ladies, you know."

"Please stop," Barry begged, red-faced. The group at large laughed at him, aside from Cisco, who wore an expression that clearly said his mind had been blown.

"Well. I stand corrected."

The night went on uneventfully, before the group dispersed shortly before midnight.

"Do you want a ride back to my dad's, Barry?" Iris asked after both Eddie and Cal stopped by the restroom before they left. She knew Barry didn't need the ride, but she was still compelled to ask.

"Oh, no thanks," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm gonna walk Cal home. I can get home on my own. Hey, Iris, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Barry."

"Why don't you like Cal?"

Iris froze for a moment. "Why do you think I don't like her?" she asked instead of answering.

"You wouldn't look at her or speak to her all night, and she told me you brushed her off when we got to your dad's party earlier."

"She said that?" Iris bristled. She went running to Barry?

"Yeah, she wanted to make sure she hadn't done anything to offend you, but she also thought it may be more than that. I told her I was sure everything was fine, but after seeing how you were acting all night I don't think that's the case."

"Everything is fine, Barry. Cal's great."

Barry stared at her for a moment, and for the first time she noticed he was angry with her. "I'm sorry, Iris, but I don't believe you."

"Look, you're my best friend, Barry. I'm protective of you, and I'm just not sure she's someone you should be hanging out with."

"Why, Iris, because she's not you?"

"E-excuse me?"

"First I was too late with you. Then Linda's not the right one for me. Now Cal's not someone I should be hanging out with. Why, Iris? Because I'm not pining after you anymore?" This was the closest he had ever come to yelling at her, and Iris could hardly think how to react.

"No, Barry, why would you say that?"

"Because you chose Eddie, not me. I told you how I felt and you made your decision. I am finally - finally - moving on and making something that makes me happy and my best friend can't even support me because she wants to keep my affections on a shelf for her to take down and use when she needs them!"

Iris could only stare, blinking through sudden tears. "Barry, that's...that's not true..."

"The hell it's not, Iris." He only sounded defeated now, and disappointed. In her. "I told you once that it seemed that even though you didn't want me, you didn't want anyone else to have me either. It seems like that hasn't changed. I like Cal, a lot. I think she might like me too, and I won't let you mess that up for me."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I think we shouldn't see each other for a while." Barry looked honestly regretful, but not apologetic. "You need to start being honest with yourself, Iris. Please tell me when you're ready to be my best friend again."

As if on cue the restaurant door opened and Eddie and Cal spilled out, laughing.

"You should have seen Eddie stare down this drunk that hit on me coming out of the bathroom," Cal giggled. "I thought he was gonna wet his pants when I called you 'Detective'!"

"You can tell me all about it while I walk you home," Barry said, taking her by the hand and pulling her away from Iris and Eddie, leaving a confused Cal to call her goodbyes to the couple over her shoulder.

Iris stared after them until Eddie spoke. "I don't know what he said to you, but I think you should probably listen to him." She met his eyes long enough to see his hurt expression before he turned away to their car.

"So, I'm guessing you talked to her about her Mean Girl routine?" Cal asked as Barry walked her home. She had been delighted that the karaoke bar was only a mile from her apartment, and admittedly was glad to have a moment to talk with Barry alone after a confusing evening. She hesitated a moment, then rearranged her hand in his so their fingers entwined.

"Yeah, I did. It was...not good."

"You don't have to talk about it."

"I want to tell you. I'm not gonna be hanging out with her for a while. She treated you like you weren't even there, you can't just do that to a person."

"Why is she jealous of me? She's with Eddie, though things didn't exactly seem peachy keen between them this evening."

"Look, Cal, I..." Barry stopped, pulling her to a halt as well. "I fell in love with Iris when we were 7 years old and only fell further as we got older. I told her, not long after I woke up from my coma, and she chose Eddie. I accepted that, I tried to move on, but she didn't exactly make it easy with how she treated the girls I was interested in. And now that she's trying to do the same thing to you, when I think I'm finally really ready for something new, it's just...I can't be her backup guy. I won't. I deserve better."

"You absolutely do, Barry," Cal agreed softly, taking a step closer to him. "Things will work out in time. Fighting with your best friend is really hard, I'm sorry it's putting so much pressure on you. I'm sorry it has to do with me."

"Thanks," he smiled down at her. "But it's not your fault, this is between me and Iris. Come on, let's get you home." He tugged once on her hand and they were moving again, though both were content to keep their hands connected.

* * *

The song playing today was instrumental, though Cal's humming could still be heard from the open door of the lab.

"Um, hey, Cal. Can we talk?" Iris had been both thrilled and horrified that she had caught the young scientist alone in the lab for once, but she had just seen Barry speaking with her father and wanted to take the opportunity to try and clear the air. A month of practically no contact with Barry, along with the many difficult conversations she'd had with Eddie, were wearing on her and she was ready to put this behind her.

"Are you sure you don't just want to ignore me some more?" There was no heat in the other woman's words, but the tone and the fact that she hadn't bothered to pull away from her microscope clearly said she wasn't going to accept any bullshit. Iris winced, but took a deep breath. She deserved that.

"I want to talk. Really...talk." Cal sat up from her microscope, turning off the music and taking a deep breath before turning on her stool to face her.

"Alright. Let's talk. Maybe you can actually get to know me as a human being with feelings before you write me off."

Iris winced again. Again, deserved.

"You're right. And I'm sorry."

Cal took another deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. "Apology accepted. And I'm sorry too, for biting your head off just now. Like I said at your dad's birthday, the hangry struggle is real. Can I start by asking you a question?" At the other woman's nod, she asked, "Why? I mean, I get that on some level you're as in love with Barry as you are with Eddie, but you made a choice to stay with Eddie. You had a choice between two incredible guys, it was impossible not to hurt one of them. But that kind of pain can heal. What I don't get is, why do you insist on continuing to hurt both of them?"

There was still no heat in her voice, just genuine, honest disbelief. Iris shook her head.

"I don't get some kind of sadistic pleasure out of it, if that's what you're implying. I just...Barry's always been there for me. From failed math tests to failed relationships and everything in between. And vice versa. Knowing he loved me, even if it wasn't fully reciprocated and I chose another man, somehow solidified that to me - oh he loves me. He will never not be there for me, for sure. But what about when he's with someone else and she needs him to be there for her? Where's my Barry then?"

Cal watched Iris intently for several moments as she gathered herself. She handed her a box of tissues before saying very, very gently. "But he's not your Barry, Iris. You made your choice. Now you have to honor it. Forgive my bluntness but you don't get to be top priority anymore - I won't even say you have to share, because you know you don't even get that much. You have to let him go. He needs his best friend back."

Iris felt appropriately shamed, and couldn't find it in herself to be upset with the other woman for her harsh words. She needed to hear them, and knowing the woman Barry was interested in cared enough to take on his best friend brought surprising relief to her frayed emotions. She could only nod, not meeting Cal's eyes, and was surprised when red curls suddenly filled her vision and she was wrapped in thin, strong arms.

"I want to be friends, Iris, and not just for Barry's sake. Trust me when I say I understand how boys make us do crazy things." Iris hugged her back.

"I'd like that too."

Barry was already talking as he came through the lab door. "Hey Cal, Joe needs us to - uh...what's...going on here?"

The two women pulled apart, both smiling, and turned to Barry. "Girls hug it out, Barry," Cal said matter-of-factly. "It's practically written into our genetic makeup."

"I'll leave you guys to it," Iris said, moving towards the door, stopping in front of Barry. She hesitated for a moment, then rested her hand on his shoulder. "We should talk soon. If that's okay."

Barry furrowed his brow at her. "Ooo...kay."

"Good. See you later." And she slipped out the door and up the stairs. Barry pointed after her, head cocked in confusion.

"What just happened?"

"Girls also don't snitch Barry, jeez. Have you not read the manual?" Cal breezed past him, both their cases in hand. "Let's go, Allen, chop chop!"

He shook his head and followed. "Wait, is there actually a manual?"

* * *

"Oh. Oh yuck."

"Tell me about it," Barry murmured, breathing shallowly through his mouth to minimize the smell. They were in a back alley behind a shoe store, and the midday heat in a relatively enclosed space was doing nothing to help.

"I am so glad I didn't eat before we came. What is that, sulfur?"

"Yup. Joe said the body looked strange, he told everyone not to touch it until we got here."

"Strange in Central City, you don't say. Here." She nudged his arm, holding out a small bottle. "Peppermint oil, just a touch under your nose will help with the smell."

"Oh, hey, thanks." He dabbed some on his finger and rubbed it under his nose as instructed, and it helped immensely. "Great idea."

"Yeah, my sister's one of those hippy dippy massage therapists, she sends me this kind of stuff all the time." Barry could almost hear her eyes rolling, though he knew from Lia's past visit they were close. "At least it's good for something." She passed the bottle off to the first greenfaced cop she saw with instructions to use it and pass it around, and the relief from the responding officers was palpable.

Cal stopped short of the cordoned off area. "What...what is that?"

"I'm pretty sure it's fertilizer," Joe said from the other side of the...body? It was body-shaped at least, wearing clothes and glasses. But it was definitely not flesh and bone.

"Fertilizer? He turned into fertilizer?"

Barry and Joe exchanged looks. "Central City, right?" Barry said, laughing awkwardly. "Um, let's get some samples and get back to the lab for some tests."

"Tests? Tests for what?! It's not like this is decomp, he's been turned into actual freaking fertilizer! God Barry, I know you have secrets, I respect them, but shit! What is happening in this town?" To Cal's credit, the fear in her voice was almost nonexistant as she crossed her arms and stared down both Barry and Joe.

"Nothing!" they said in unison, though they regretted it immediately when her brow furrowed and her eyes darkened.

"Get your samples, Barry. I'll meet you back at the lab." She turned on her heel and was gone before either of them could react.

"I thought you were supposed to be her supervisor?" Joe said after a moment.

"Really Joe? Really?" Barry rolled his eyes and finished his assessment of the scene, gathering the needless samples he had insisted upon - no way this wasn't a metahuman.

He took a deep breath and steeled himself before heading back to the lab. He wasn't sure what to expect when he got there.

* * *

Whatever he expected, it was not Cal standing in front of his boards on Harrison Wells and his mother's murder.

He stopped at the door to the lab, before shutting it firmly behind him. "How did you find that?"

"You're terrible at keeping secrets. You left it out one night a few weeks ago, I found it when I got here early the next day. I put it away and didn't say anything because I figured you had your reasons. It was the only thing you were clearly keeping from me and I can't begrudge a man his secrets. But now that's not the only thing you're keeping from me, Barry. There are things happening in this town, strange things. People are being hurt and killed and there's a superhero running around doing his damnedest to keep people safe, and _you know all about it, Barry_. So tell me - how are these two secrets connected?"

Barry sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Cal was clever, he knew that from the very beginning, but he had really been hoping it would take her longer to start putting the pieces together. "The particle accelerator explosion last year...long story short, it gave people superpowers. A man that can turn into poison gas. A woman who can teleport. Someone who can turn people into fertilizer, apparently."

"A man with super speed?"

"Y-yeah, exactly. A lot of those people, these metahumans, are...bad. Like, really bad. Hence the hurting and the killing. It's getting harder and harder to keep it hidden. Honestly I'm glad you know now. I don't have to try and hide the weird test results from you anymore."

Cal was pacing now, having shoved her glasses up onto her head, a habit Barry recognized to mean she was processing and accepting. "I can get on board with that. But what does this have to do with your mother's murder, 14 years before the explosion?"

"Because Wells went back in time to murder my mother."

Cal stopped her pacing. "Oh Barry. I'm so sorry." She approached him quickly now, both hands on his shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to keep you safe from it, if I could. That part of my life is...hard. People get hurt."

"Barry Allen, you don't get to make that decision for me. I decide what's worth getting hurt for, and you are worth more than anyone I've ever met."

Feeling as though the green of her eyes was drawing him in, Barry brought his hands up to cover hers, which were now fisted in his shirt. She seemed to only notice at that moment and moved to loosen her grip and take a step back, but he held her there. After a long moment he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

Cal responded in kind, releasing his shirt from her grasp and wrapping her arms around his torso while one of his hands came down to her waist as the other curled in the hair at the back of her head. She opened to him gladly at the soft brush of his tongue, shivering as he kissed her sweetly and gently.

The sound of an explosion in the distance startled them from their kiss even as Barry pulled her closer instinctively. Looking out the large window at the back of the lab, they could see smoke billowing in the distance.

"Oh my God. Barry, you have to get over there, now!"

"What? Me, what do you mean?"

"Did we not just establish that you are terrible at keeping secrets? I know you're the Flash, Barry!"

It felt like the world stopped turning. "What...did you just say?"

Cal honest to God smiled at him, brushing her fingers against his cheek. "Oh, honey, I'm not mad, I swear I'm not. What I am is observant. How's that joke go? I'm not saying I'm Batman, but you've never seen Batman and I in the same room, have you? Barry disappears, Flash appears. Flash disappears, Barry's back. All the ridiculous excuses, analyzing crime scenes like you were there? Easy math. But seriously, people could be trapped and hurt, you have to run!"

He gaped at her for a few more moments, then took her face none-too-gently in his hands and kissed her again, hard this time, before taking a step back and taking off, sending papers and red curls flying. Cal's breath whooshed out of her lungs as she fisted both hands in her hair.

"Oh for the love of all that is good in this world, please come back to me."

* * *

It was after dark by the time Barry returned to the lab. He wasn't sure how he knew she'd be there, but there she sat gazing through the window, crosslegged on his workdesk and wearing the cardigan he'd left draped over his chair. He decided he liked that.

"So what's a guy gotta do to get you to wear his sweaters more often?" he said quietly from the door. She whirled around at his voice, then scrambled down from the desk before all but flinging herself into his arms. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, relishing in the feel of her against him, solid and real.

"Holy crap I was scared."

"I'm sorry. Next time I'll take you to S.T.A.R. Labs so you'll know what's going on." He pressed a kiss to her forehead before tucking her head under his chin.

"Don't be sorry. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. Our metahuman was a hardcore anarchist, practically had the cookbook memorized."

"Ah...that explains the fertilizer. I tried listening to the news but it was all chaos, what did he bomb?"

"Just some empty warehouses - it was actually an accident, he was still in the beginning stages. He was planning an attack that would have wiped out Central City."

"I'm glad you got him. I'm proud of you." She pulled back from his embrace enough to kiss him again, slowly and softly. "I really wanna keep doing that. Like, a lot. Somewhere that's not where we work."

Barry laughed, resting his forehead against hers as she smiled up at him. "So do I. Where to?"

"My place? Classic Who and ice cream?"

"And more kissing?" He took her mouth again gently with his own.

"Maybe more than kissing?"

Barry grinned in a way that could only be described as wolfish. "Definitely more than kissing, I think," he whispered against her lips before turning them towards the door, tucking Cal securely under his arm as he guided them out of the lab. "I've been instructed to take the day off tomorrow - zero responsibilities, unless the Flash is needed. What do you think I should do all day?"

"Oh I'm sure I can think something, Mr. Allen."

* * *

So there's that. I seriously debated about the apology scene with Iris, but ultimately decided to leave it in, as I have a pathological desire to make sure everything works out in the end. There may or may not be some one shots or snippets added to this or posted separately, as I had a few ideas for scenes that didn't manifest in this little nugget of a story.

Ultimately not my best work, but something I enjoyed writing. I hope you enjoyed reading :)


	2. Chapter 2

This immediately follows the second installment of Put Another Dime in the Jukebox, when Cal tells Barry about her old friend Torionne.

I don't own the Flash. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

Cal's mood for the rest of the day was vastly improved, though she still wasn't quite back to her normal self. They traded childhood stories as they worked, which continued after Barry insisted they stop for the day and head to Jitters for some dinner.

"The summer Tori and I were 16 his grandfather gave us this old school Thunderbird," Cal told him over their coffee and soup. "He'd had it for about 20 years and it hadn't run the whole time. He said 'If you can get it moving it's yours.'"

"Did you?"

"Hell yeah," Cal grinned. "He did the engine work and I restored the body. That thing looked and ran like a dream at the end of the summer, it was one of the few times we got attention at school that wasn't derogatory. We told them all to fuck off."

Barry barked out a laugh. "That must have been satisfying."

"Oh, so satisfying. I wonder whatever happened to it...I left it with Tori when I went to MIT, it was from his grandfather after all. If he still had it I might call about buying it..." She trailed off, eyes downcast again, before physically shaking herself. "I'll call tomorrow."

"I think that's a great idea," Barry said. Looking to keep her spirits up, he continued. "Joe made Iris and I share our first car. We both had to pay half the gas, half the insurance, half the maintenance. We were so mad, but what he didn't tell us was that when we had saved up for us each to get our own, he matched us both for half the cost. Splitting the cost of that first car helped us both save up faster, it ended up being the better idea in the long run."

"I always knew I liked Joe," Cal grinned. "He seems like a good man to be raised by."

"He is," Barry smiled softly. "He was a dad to me when my own dad couldn't be. I was really lucky to have Joe in my life, not a lot of single fathers would take in another mouth to feed."

They were silent for a while as they ate, before Cal cleared her throat.

"Hey, can I ask you a question? And I'm a big girl, 'no' is always an acceptable answer to a yes or no question."

"Sure."

"Would you mind maybe keeping me company tonight? My couch is really comfy, I have a massive DVD collection, and I make the best oatmeal chocolate chip cookies you've ever had. I just...I'd just like to not be alone tonight."

Barry grinned immediately. "Movies and homemade cookies? What kind of idiot says no to that kind of invitation?"

Though Cal had meant it when she said 'no' was an acceptable answer, she was visibly relieved that he'd said yes. "Oh thank you, Barry. Is it super pathetic that you're the only real friend I have in Central City? I mean, everyone at the station is great, but you just seem to get me, as cheesy as that is."

"I don't think it's pathetic at all," Barry said, reaching across the table and taking her hand without thinking about it. "I'm glad we're friends, Cal."

She smiled, squeezing his hand. "Me too, Barry."

* * *

Mucho thanks to my guest reviewer! I have to admit, while I still don't care for Iris, I don't dislike her as much as I used to. I actually really enjoy her with Eddie as I think he does a decent job of keeping her head out of the clouds, so I plan on tackling the season finale issue much differently than the show did. I hope you continue to enjoy these installments and Put Another Dime in the Jukebox!


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own the Flash. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

"What do you mean you've never been bowling before?"

"Uh...exactly that?"

"How on earth have you never been bowling before?"

It was an overcast Thursday afternoon in Central City. Barry, Eddie, and Joe had been unexpectedly called into the field, and rather than miss out on their respective lunch dates, Cal and Iris had opted to further expand their new friendship by enjoying a lunch date themselves. Iris was staring incredulously at Cal over the plate of nachos they were sharing while they waited on their burgers. The redhead grinned back at her.

"There wasn't a bowling alley in my hometown, it's too small. Anytime we were someplace big enough to have one there was no time, and in college I was too focused on my studies. I've never even held a bowling ball."

"Oh we are so going, tonight," Iris insisted. "We'll get the whole group together. Barry loves bowling, I can't believe he hasn't taken you yet! You've been together two months, has he even taken you on any dates yet?"

After long talks with Eddie and Barry, and her brief but eye opening conversation with Cal, Iris had recognized that her mistreatment of the other woman stemmed from a fear of losing her best friend, and made a conscious effort to support her relationship with Barry and get to know her as a friend. Much to the young journalist's relief, Cal was making it easy, having forgiven her immediately and jumped at several opportunities to spend time together, both alone and with their little family. Iris found herself falling comfortably into the role of teasing sister, insisting Cal come to her when, not if, Barry did something stupid so she could knock some sense into him.

"We've been to the movies a couple of times, and a concert in Pittsburgh last month, he's treating me beautifully," Cal laughed at her seriousness. She then smirked wickedly. "Just don't ask me if he's been a gentleman, I don't want to have to lie."

"Oh, I don't want to hear about Barry's sex life! Gross!"

* * *

Joe and Eddie weren't able to get away from the station in time for bowling, but Cisco and Caitlin had jumped at the opportunity.

"Iris is right, I can't believe I haven't brought you here before!" Barry said excitedly as they all changed they shoes. They had rented two lanes, one for Barry, Iris, and Caitlin, who all had experience bowling, and one for Cal and Cisco, who had been bowling before but admitted to being lousy at it.

"Yes, I'm in my twenties and want bumpers," he told the confused girl at the desk as they rented the lanes. Cal was thrilled at the prospect.

"Bumpers? You can have bumpers so the balls don't go in the gutter? I want that!"

"Usually those are just for kids," Caitlin told them, amused. Cal shrugged, unconcerned.

"I mean it's not like Cisco and I have any shame. I'd rather embarrass myself with a handicap than a gutterball!"

"So it's basically gravity, friction, and momentum," Barry was telling her as he stood behind her and showed her how to hold and throw the ball. "Can you feel the weight inside the ball?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Basic physics. I assume the best throw would curve so as to be able to hit more pins."

"Exactly," he told her. "Aim with your thumb. Give it a shot." And while she understood the basic principles, it became clear quickly that the knowledge didn't translate very well into coordination. They hadn't finished the first ten frames before Cal and Cisco had given up on their abysmal scores and began bowling as humorously as possible. Cal was particularly fond of "granny bowling", using both hands to throw the ball down the lane, and Cisco found he had surprisingly good aim when he turned around, bent over, and threw the ball between his legs.

Barry, Iris, and Caitlin were taking their game a little more seriously, trash talking each other and laughing at their friends in the next lane. Barry and Iris had been keeping cumulative score since they were 12 years old and she was about 160 points behind, so she actually made an effort to concentrate and bowl a good game.

"I am terrible at this!" Cal laughed as she and Barry were volunteered to get food and drinks for the group. "It's fun though, I'd like to do it again."

"Me too," Barry said, smiling. "You are pretty terrible, though I'm sure we can improve that with practice. Can you believe Cisco got a strike like that?"

"No!" she huffed. "He's gonna rub my nose in it for weeks, the little punk. I'm trying to think of a good prank to get him back for all the bragging. How would you feel about helping me hide your Flash suits and telling him we took them to the dry cleaners?"

"He'll have a heart attack. I knew I liked you."

* * *

Ram-Z Malfoy- I like Carry! I like Bia too, it sounds kind of silly to me :) Thank you so much for reading!

To my guest reviewer(s? A couple of reviews were just several lines of the same couple of sentences repeated, and it seemed like it might be the same person) - I do so wish you'd logged in! I'd have loved the opportunity to explain my creative choices to you in a private forum, and I really hope you don't take this more public response as anger or resentment :) I didn't _have_ to bash Iris at all - in fact it wasn't included in the original plot. It was a deliberate, conscious decision because I dislike the character in general and find her to be selfish, shallow, and quite frankly unreasonable in the most ridiculous of ways. So I chose to bash her because I thought she needed a little sense knocked into her, and if you read this installment you'll notice that all's good. It was a choice that felt necessary to me as a writer in order to get to a place with the character that I felt good about her placement in the stories and the other character's lives. It was cathartic in a way, as I'm feeling pretty at peace with her now, and am enjoying writing her as a more rounded human being making better decisions as Barry's friend. All the same, you are (of course) totally allowed to not enjoy it, and I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to read and leave the feedback :)


	4. Chapter 4

In case you guys didn't know, I have a companion piece for this called Put Another Dime in the Jukebox, with short one shots and snippets of Barry and Cal in their lab (and elsewhere). While this particular one shot _does_ start out in the lab, I've decided to keep my installments for Jukebox at least somewhat music-centered, just for a bit of a central theme. Here on Feeling Good I'll be posting non-musical moments between our sweet little Carry (Bia? We need a vote!).

I know my timelines jump around a bit, but I'm not very good at writing cohesive storylines, and just type up scenes as they come to me. This is pre-relationship.

This takes place immediately after the third installment of Put Another Dime in the Jukebox, when Barry blurts out that he thinks Cal is adorable and Joe decides a conversation needs to be had.

I don't own the Flash, anything produced by Studio Ghibli, or the Big Bang Theory (though that's just a tiny reference). Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

'Soon' ended up being only a week later, when Cal was out sick and Joe was able to corner Barry alone in the lab. The young man had been avoiding this conversation with his foster-father and Joe wasn't going to let him put it off any longer.

Strolling into the lab and closing the door behind him loud enough for Barry to look up and meet his eye, Joe said only one word. "Spill."

Barry sighed, setting down the test tube on his desk and dropping his head into his hands. "Come on, Joe, this really isn't necessary." It was already an off day for him - he had gotten used to Cal's constant presence and voice in the lab, and he hadn't been able to bring himself to turn on any music himself, it just felt wrong. It made the place feel empty, Joe thought, it made _Barry_ feel empty.

"Uh, my kid has a crush, which means he's finally moving on from a certain someone. This is definitely necessary."

"Joe, I...yeah, okay, I think I have a crush on Cal. If you remember, the last girl I liked didn't exactly work out all that well. Either of them, actually."

Joe looked at his foster-son where he sat slumped over. It had been a struggle to watch the boy's feelings for Iris grow, knowing Iris was oblivious and their opportunity to be together would likely pass them by. It appeared to have done just that now that she was in love with Eddie, and Joe would be damned if he let Barry mope his way through another opportunity.

"I get the feeling that Cal won't let Iris scare her away like Linda did." Barry glanced up at him warily and Joe raised an eyebrow. "I could see it, Barry, I know my daughter and she's the jealous type, even over her friends. Look, all I'm saying is to not just shelve the idea. That's all."

Barry sighed, running a hand over his face. "Yeah, alright. I'll think about it. I'm going over to her apartment after work to check on her, make sure she's got everything she needs."

"Good idea. You talk to her today? How is she feeling?"

"She said she's been puking since about 4 this morning, she thinks it's the same stomach bug her neighbor had last week. Her dad always got Chinese food when she was sick as a kid, I'll probably grab some on my way over."

Joe grinned. "I'm sure she'll love that. Go ahead, I'll cover you with Singh. There's only an hour left today anyway." Joe knew that was the right decision when Barry lit up, hastily putting away his work and scrambling out the door. "Tell her I said feel better!" he called after the retreating back.

"I will! Thanks Joe!"

* * *

Thirty minutes later Barry stood in front of Cal's apartment door. He had been here only a couple of times, but was still able to find it easily. He knocked three times, then waited as he heard shuffling from the other side of the door.

"Coming," she called weakly. A few moments later the door opened, and Barry nearly burst out laughing at the sight. Her hair was massive, she clearly hadn't bothered trying to tame the curls that morning, and her glasses were slightly crooked on her unusually pale face. She wore an enormous fuzzy purple bathrobe with white stars, left untied to reveal Doctor Who pajama pants and a "Mystic Warlords of Ka'a" tank top. He restrained himself, however, only grinning hugely and holding out the paper bag in his hands.

"Is that...is that Chinese food? You remembered I like Chinese food when I'm sick?" She looked up at him in awe, scarcely able to believe her eyes. "I think I just fell in love with you a little."

Barry flushed crimson, though she didn't see it as she was already turning towards her living room, waving him in. He shut the door as he entered, glad for the moment to gather himself, determined to act normally - his friend was sick and he wanted to help her feel better. "That robe makes you look like a wizard."

She grinned over her shoulder at him. "It makes me _feel_ like a wizard. I just need a broom and a hat and I'm all set for Halloween. You got lots of food, are you staying? I'm just watching some Miyazaki movies, I was about to start Howl's Moving Castle."

"Yeah, sounds like fun. Just don't get me sick."

"C'mere, let me spit in your food real fast."

They made it through Howl's Moving Castle and were watching the opening credits to Kiki's Delivery Service when Cal suddenly shot up from the couch, running down the hall and barely making it to the toilet before she started retching. Barry followed closely behind, helping pull some of the unruly curls back. After several moments, he was startled to hear sniffling, and when he leaned forward he could see tears running down her cheeks.

"Cal? Cal, are you okay?"

"No!" she moaned dramatically. "Please just kill me, I'd rather be dead than keep doing this. There are knives in the kitchen, just make it quick."

Barry laughed even as the young woman slumped against him. "I think I like you alive. Come on, let's get you back to the couch, I'll get you some water." He helped her stand and guided her back to her living room. "Really, though, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Barry, thank you," she smiled, and as she settled down into her nest he headed for her kitchen to get a glass of water. "I always cry when I vomit, it only lasts a minute. Thank you," she said again, taking the glass gratefully and taking a long sip. "That was a pretty gross display, you don't have to stick around with Sicky anymore if you don't want to."

"I don't mind," he grinned, settling into the other side of the couch, pushing 'play' on her remote. They settled back in to watch, and as Kiki was getting ready to leave home to find a new town, Barry felt a weight settle onto his thigh. Glancing down, he saw Cal had stretched across the couch and had pillowed her head against his leg.

"Is this okay?" she whispered tiredly. "I can move."

"No, it's fine," he answered quietly. After a brief hesitation, he brought one hand up and began gently smoothing out her hair. He felt her sigh in contentment, and in a few minutes she was sleeping soundly in his lap.

She was still sleeping when the movie ended, and even though it was still relatively early in the night, Barry lifted her gently into his arms and carried her to her bed. She woke up just enough to help him get her robe off of her, before collapsing into bed and immediately falling back asleep. Barry watched her with soft eyes for a minute before letting himself out, leaving a note that he'd taken her spare key and would return it tomorrow.

It took him only a few minutes to run home, and Joe was settled on their couch with a beer watching TV when he walked through the door.

"How is she?" the older man asked, glancing up at his foster-son.

"So-so," Barry said, heading for the stairs. "She got sick again while I was there, and she was sleeping when I left. It's a good thing tomorrow's Saturday, she'll have the weekend to get better."

"Are you going to go see her again tomorow?" Joe asked as he turned back to the television. His tone was nonchalant, and Barry couldn't see his face from this angle, but Barry could practically see his foster-father's shit eating grin.

"Yes, Joe, I am."

"Good." Joe raised his beer bottle into the air in salute, turning his attention back to the TV. When he heard the door to Barry's room close, though, he turned it off, still grinning to himself. "Looks like that boy gets to be happy after all."

* * *

PenForPerfection - thank you so much for your kind review! I can appreciate the role Iris plays as a character, and writing Feeling Good really did help me like her more. I loved her support of Barry and Patty's budding relationship in the newest episode, I thought it was an excellent improvement from her reaction to Linda. I'll probably write Patty in eventually, but Barry and Cal will stay together in my stories.

brulandia - Thank you for taking the time to read my work! Sorry it wasn't what you expected - I hope you continue to read and can appreciate it anyway!


	5. Chapter 5

Trufax time! Two shoutouts to real life people in this one. First, I visited cousins in Oklahoma last week, and the quote about sashes and rifles is a direct, verbatim quote from my cousin to my boyfriend. Different context, but I thought my guy (also a B, incidentally) was gonna wet his pants from laughing. Second, my B regularly uses the phrase "rocked your/my domepiece", which for some reason just absolutely tickles me and he says is a phrase from the Philadelphia area.

I don't own the Flash. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

Whatever Cal had expected when she answered the knock to her front door, it was _not_ Barry, Joe, and Eddie standing silently in a row, serious expressions on their faces.

"Alright, super morose Sunday morning party at Cal's place, whoo." She twirled her fingers in the air beside her head, eyebrow raised as she jested. "I'll break out the tequila. Looks like we need it." She leaned up to kiss Barry quickly on the lips before turning and walking into her apartment, waving for them to follow. They did, still silently, following her to the kitchen where she reached not for the liquor cabinet, but the coffee pot, pouring cups for each of them.

"Okay seriously, you guys are giving me the heebie jeebies. What's the deal?" She turned to face the still somber group, leaning back against the kitchen counter. "I feel like I'm at work."

Exchanging glances with the others, Barry stepped forward. "Cal, what we do with metahumans is really dangerous."

That eyebrow was still raised. "Yes it is."

"And the danger doesn't always stay confined to me."

Cal looked between them all. "I'm well aware."

"Cal, I was threatened in my home," Joe said, stepping forward.

"I didn't know that, Joe, I'm sorry," Cal's eyebrows furrowed in concern. "But I still don't understand what this conversation is."

"We want you to be able to protect yourself," Eddie said.

The eyebrow was back. "I don't think you need to worry about that."

"Well, it would make us all feel better if you could do something for us," Barry said placatingly.

"And that would be?"

Joe spoke again this time. "We think you should learn to use a firearm. Eddie or I would be happy to teach you, or Iris if you'd prefer to learn from another woman."

The eyebrow was gone and Cal was grinning openly. "Are you guys kidding me right now?"

"No," Barry said seriously. "I know you've probably never considered it before, but it could save your life if one of us can't be there to help you."

"No, I mean, are you _kidding_ me? Is this for real? Oh my God, follow me." Cal was still grinning widely as she breezed through them, leading them down the hall to her bedroom where she dropped to her knees and hauled out a heavy lockbox from underneath her bed. She began to spin numbers on the padlock as she spoke.

"If there's one thing ya'll need to know about a good, well-rounded Southern girl..." Her voice had gone a little higher, slipped into a easy twang, with o's going long and turning into w's at the end, more pronounced r's, and extra syllables appearing where previously there had been none. "...it's that we keep our pageant sashes-" she heaved open the top of the lockbox, " -the same place we keep our rifles."

There were indeed three rifles and half a dozen sashes in various pastel colors in the large, flat box at Cal's knees. The eyebrow was back as she looked up at them. "I'm from deep south Oklahoma, ya'll. My open and concealed carry permits are on file at work. We've been together for a month, B, have you seriously not noticed the revolver I keep in the nightstand?" She directed the last at Barry. She was still using the accent she'd grown up with, and while the accent she'd adapted for everyday use sounded natural, this one sounded _right_.

"Um, no. Why would I look in your nightstand?" Barry's ears were already pink. Her accent was quite possibly the cutest thing he'd ever heard. He'd noticed traces of it sporadically over the months they'd known each other - on the phone with her sister, usually, and more recently in bed late at night, too tired to be mindful. This, however, was strong and thick, and he loved it.

"You don't snoop? I _totally_ went through your drawers last week!" Barry's sputtered shock broke the spell in the room, and the four enjoyed a round of laughter. Joe offered a hand to Cal, which she took happily to rise to her feet.

"Well, now that we all feel stupid, I think we should take our leave," he grinned as he hugged the young woman, who laughed again.

"Well, you don't know what you don't know." She hugged Eddie as well, waving them off as they left the apartment, leaving Barry and Cal alone together.

"So I just totally revealed my inner misogynist, is what you're telling me," Barry groused as he pulled Cal into his arms. She was still giggling, hugging him tightly.

"Maybe a little. Certainly embarrassed yourself into the next century. It's okay, B, it came from a place of concern." She had dropped her accent again, voice slightly deeper, and now Barry could hear the places where it was a little forced, and the places where it slipped a little. "So does this mean we're spending the day together?"

"I was hoping so. You know, Nia, I really like your accent."

"Okay, I know I rocked your domepiece just now, but you're just talking crazy."

"No, I mean it, it's really cute."

"You are the _weirdest_."

" _I'm_ the weirdest? Did you just say _'rocked your domepiece'_?"

* * *

Looking to update Put Another Dime in the Jukebox next, hopefully in the next couple of days. I hope you guys enjoyed this!


	6. Chapter 6

Okay guys so I'm really proud of myself. I hit that wall today - the wall that I always, ALWAYS inevitably hit with a story, where I feel like my ideas have run dry and I can't bring anything more to the table without detracting from the overall quality of the work, so I just give up. But if I'm being honest I've really fallen hard for this pairing, they make my heart happy and I really wanted to keep living in this world for at least a while longer. So I closed my Word document and took some time to multitask between watching old Criminal Minds episodes and reading Harry Potter fanfiction. Then, out of nowhere, BAM. MORNING AFTER FIC. GO.

So here's this. And since I'm being honest, this is one of my favorites so far.

I don't own the Flash or the song Your Song. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

Barry woke slowly, dimly aware of music coming from outside the room somewhere. He blinked, confused. This was _not_ his bed, he thought blearily, and then it all hit him at once. The conversation with Cal, finding out she knew he was the Flash, dealing with the metahuman and then the... _unexpected_ night that had followed.

He sat up, rubbing his eyes with his palms. Unexpected was the word for it, and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about what it would be like to be with her intimately. It had exceeded expectations, and falling asleep with her curled into his chest had been more satisfying than he'd imagined. He'd hoped to wake up with her there, he thought to himself as he rose, pulling on his boxers and tshirt from the day before. As he reached the end of her hall, though, the sight that greeted him was a fine replacement.

She sat with her legs curled under her in the window seat, strumming lightly on a ukulele as the early morning sun poured in, setting her curls aflame. She wore what looked like her panties and a loose white tank top, and he could see a bright splash of color across the back of her shoulder - a tattoo he hadn't noticed the night before. He stood there for a moment, imprinting the sight on his memory before he walked over and sat on the other end of the window seat. "Good morning."

She stopped strumming as he entered her vision. "Oh, hey. Good morning. Did I wake you?"

"Maybe a little," he admitted. "I am definitely not complaining about the wake up call, though. Is that seriously a ukulele? How cliche quirky girl can you get?" he teased her with a nudge to her thigh. She grinned in return, strumming quickly a few times.

"It's tiny and adorable and I love the way it sounds. All excellent reasons to learn to play. One of my roommates in college was from Hawaii, he taught me how."

"Are you any good?"

"I'm alright."

"Play me something."

Cal turned pink. "Like what?"

"I don't know, pick something. Anything."

"Oh, don't say _anything_. After last night all I can think of are cheesy romantic ballads, give me something good."

"No way, I want a cheesy romantic ballad! Serenade me, Cal. Make me feel _pretty_." He batted his eyelashes a few times for emphasis, thoroughly pleased with himself at her answering laughter.

"I am embarrassed to say that actually has something of an effect on me," she said, shaking her head in mock shame, as she started to pluck out a gentle melody that Barry recognized, but couldn't place until she started singing.

 _"It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside_  
 _I'm not one of those who can easily hide_  
 _I don't have much money but boy if I did_  
 _I'd buy a big house where we both could live_

 _If I was a sculptor, but then again - no_  
 _Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show_  
 _Oh I know it's not much but it's the best I can do_  
 _My gift is my song and this one's for you_

 _And you can tell everybody this is your song_  
 _It may be quite simple but now that it's done_  
 _I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind_  
 _That I put down in words_  
 _How wonderful life is while you're in the world_  
 _How wonderful life is while you're in the world"_

She stopped there, still pink, meeting his eyes almost shyly. He smiled at her, leaning forward to cup her face in his hands and kiss her gently, before resting his forehead against hers. "You are so cheesy," he whispered seriously, to which she burst into giggles as she pushed him away playfully, holding her instrument between them as a buffer.

"That is _not_ the way to get yourself some early morning lovin', B," she grinned slyly, leaning back and sticking out her leg to keep him back as he mock-lunged for her. "Ooh, Mr. Grabbyhands is feeling aggressive, is he?" She rose quickly, setting her ukulele down on a nearby shelf and moving quickly towards the hallway. "I'd say catch me if you can, but that would just be silly of me."

There was a brief sensation of movement, a whoosh of air, and then Cal was on her back, Barry's weight pressing her into the bed.

"That would be very silly of you, yes."

* * *

I really hope you guys enjoy it! Thank you to everyone that's been so kind as to add Feeling Good and Put Another Dime in the Jukebox to their favorite and follow lists. I used to gauge my morale for a story on reviews, but as someone who only sporadically reviews myself I realized I needed to look at the bigger picture, and by adding me to your alerts and re-reading you CLEARLY enjoy the work so...thanks guys! It really means a lot to me that you take the time to read my stories, I hope I continue to impress you and add at least a little bit of happy feels to your day!

If there's anything that you'd like me to add to, any scenes or references that you'd like me to expand upon, let me know and I'll do some brainstorming. I meant it when I said I struggle with writer's block, and a few suggestions can be just the thing a writer needs to get the creative juices flowing again.


	7. Chapter 7

Going to try and tackle season one finale. We'll see how it goes. Copious dialogue taken from the show, added to, adjusted, changed, etc. Obviously spoilers if you haven't seen it.

I don't own the Flash. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

"A rare opportunity to go back in time and right a wrong _and_ save your mother's life. Quite the paradox Harrison has presented you with, Mr. Allen."

They were all gathered at S.T.A.R. Labs, and Barry had just told the group of Wells's offer. Cal leaned against the table next to Professor Stein, eyes never leaving Barry's form. They had been together for six months and their relationship had only intensified; Barry had all but moved in with her and they'd had more than one conversation about their potential future together. She could tell this was eating him up inside, and a glance at Joe showed he wasn't faring much better.

"The chance to be with someone you love?" Caitlin started, stepping closer to Ronnie. "Seems pretty cut-and-dry to me."

"At first blush, Dr. Snow, it would appear so, but this gift has unparalleled risk," Dr. Stein told them. "Barry, the night your mother died, the night you saved yourself from being killed, that event altered the timeline you were already on and changed the course of history."

"So, what you're saying is we're living in a parallel universe?" Cisco asked.

"Just like when I time-traveled before," Barry nodded.

"But he - he only changed one day that time," Joe said, gesturing to Barry.

"Exactly, now imagine 15 years of compounded experiences," Dr. Stein said, warming into lecture mode. "One different decision, no matter how big or small, impacts everything that follows. Moments upon moments, choices upon choices, new relationships. Nothing would be as it is today, and you'd never know the difference because you'd never remember any of it."

Barry's eyes met Cal's, held them as he spoke. "So if I go back and save my mom, my dad doesn't go to prison. I never live with Joe and Iris."

"You might never meet me," Cisco said. "Or Caitlin, or Ronnie..."

"Or Cal," Barry finished, still holding her gaze.

"The truth is, there's no real way of knowing what your life will be," Dr. Stein told him. Barry looked away now, around at the rest of them, and was surprised when Joe spoke first, taking his jacket and moving towards the door.

"There's no choice here, Barry, you have to do this. You gotta change the past." Joe was gone without another word, and Barry followed, squeezing Cal's hand quickly as he passed her. The others dispersed quietly to give them space, and Barry returned in a few short minutes.

He came to stand before her, hands in his pockets, suddenly finding it hard to meet her gaze. Her face had remained carefully neutral through the entire discussion, and still was when he finally lifted his head to look her in the eye.

"Do you think I should do it?"

Cal was quiet for a long time, before smiling a small, sad smile. "I would do it for Tori, if I could."

* * *

"So are you gonna do it?" Iris asked as they looked out over the city.

"It's just so huge. It's the biggest decision of my life, and if I'm wrong, I can't undo it."

"Why would you want to? I mean you get to see your mom again, your dad. Have a great career. Even get married."

Barry gazed out at the lights of the city he'd grown up in. "Yeah, but to who? Iris, what if...what if I do this and I never meet Cal? The whole reason I became a forensic scientist is because of what happened that night. If that changes, the career I end up with may not cause me to cross paths with her. What if I save my family but lose the woman I love? How can I even leave her?"

Iris felt her eyes pooling with tears at the distraught look on his face, and pulled him into her arms.

"What do you think I should do? I need someone to tell me." Iris pulled away after another moment.

"I think, Barry Allen, that you should stop worrying about what other people think you should do. I think you should do what's in your heart. Do what you need to do for yourself."

* * *

"I think I'm going to do it."

Barry told Cal quietly, secluded in a corner before he told the rest of them. She smiled that same sad smile.

"Good."

* * *

Even as Caitlin and Ronnie sealed their vows with a kiss, Barry's heart was sinking as he clung tightly to Cal's hand. Though he'd made his decision and intended to see it through, a part of him was starting to hate himself for what he was leaving behind. Who we was abandoning.

But he had to save his mother.

* * *

Cal stood aside as Barry said his goodbyes to the others, waiting for the last moment. She watched as he hugged Caitlin and joked with Cisco, as he hugged his foster family goodbye, as he nodded to Eddie before finally turning to her.

As they looked upon each other for the last time, neither could keep up the composed airs they'd worn for two days. Cal's face crumpled as Barry wrapped his arms around her, one hand around her waist and the other cradling her head to his chest. "I love you, Nia. I will always love you."

"I love you too B. Please, please be happy."

"Same thing." Careless of their audience, he kissed her a final time, deeply, relishing every moment he could take. He regretted pulling away immediately, and his resolve nearly shattered when she turned from him to bury her face in Cisco's shoulder, her own shoulders shaking as she silently cried. Cisco wrapped his free arm around her, nodding to Barry one last time as he opened the door.

Turning away from her felt like dying, but he did it anyway.

* * *

Cal had stayed with Joe and Cisco in the particle accelerator, though both Caitlin and Iris had tried to get her to come up to the main lab with them. She had demurred, choosing instead to stay with the two remaining men she cared for most. Cisco was like a brother to her, and she and Joe had always connected over their mutual care for Barry. She approached them both as Wells was preparing to take his leave.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," she murmured as he settled in that ridiculous looking pod, before they were all startled by a bright light coming from the wormhole. Something else flew out of it, smashing into the time capsule and sending Cisco, Joe, and Cal hurtling back several feet.

Cal tried to sit up but couldn't - the sharp pain in her head felt like a weight holding her skull to the ground. Bringing her arms up wasn't as difficult, and gingerly poking with her fingers revealed a wide, but seemingly shallow cut across her forehead and hairline. Fighting off the inky blackness at the edges of her vision, she struggled to turn her head to the voice she could hear.

"You didn't save her?" she could hear Wells saying. "Why? WHY? You could have had the life you wanted. You could have had everything you ever wanted!"

Cal finally managed to lift her head enough to see Barry standing there, looking right at her as he answered Wells.

"I already do."

She was dimly aware of red and yellow lightning flashing around her as she struggled to retain consciousness. It became easier with each passing second, and as she was able to sit up she saw Cisco and Joe rising, as well. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Barry and Wells stop, turning to see Wells pummel Barry in the stomach before choking him and raising his other hand.

"Just so we're clear, after I kill you I'm going to kill them, and then I'm going to kill your father. I win, Flash. You couldn't save your mother, and you can't save them. You can't save her." He looked away to Cal, meaning he didn't see rage that erupted across Barry's face at the taunt. In a desperate rush of adrenaline, Barry slammed his palm into the outside of Wells locked elbow, satisfied when he heard the 'crack' of the broken bone. Wells cried out in pain, having lost his grip, and Barry fell to the floor, trying to regain his breath. In his fury Wells was now focused entirely on Barry, kicking him hard onto his side, stepping over him and raising his good arm once again to strike.

The gunshot rang out of nowhere, shocking everyone into stillness for a moment. Wells took a step back after a moment, then another. He turned to face them, a confused expression on his face, before focusing on something behind Cal. Turning around, she could see where Eddie had been hiding just out of sight, and where he now stood, arm outstretched with gun in hand. Wells turned around slowly, revealing to them the gunshot wound between his shoulder blades, before he hit his knees and crumpled into an unmoving heap.

Cal was the first to move, running to Barry to check if he was alright.

"I don't understand, Barry, why did you come back?" Her eyes were confused, hesitant, but full of love and hope. Instead of answering he cupped the back of her head with one hand and kissed her firmly.

But then the wormhole reopened.

* * *

Okay so that's a pretty ominous place to leave it, but everything else follows just as usual except Eddie's alive. While I think Eddie's actions in the show finale were well written and fit the story of the show well, in the AU I've created that just didn't really jive. Harrison Wells/Eobard Thawne still taunted him with the stuff from the future, but in this case Stein was right in his insinuation that he was lying about Barry and Iris getting married. With Barry and Cal together, and without Iris's jealous feelings and behavior causing issues between her and Eddie, his insecurities have been long since dealt with and Eddie was much too confident in his relationship with Iris to entertain Wells's attempt to dissuade him from her and the rest of Team Flash.

I feel like this is a pretty reasonable AU scenario. I thought long and hard about whether or not to write that last scene at all, because I wasn't 100% sure how I wanted to handle it, but I feel good about how it turned out. I know it's a bit stilted, but then again I only set out to write bits and pieces.

I may or may not tackle the season two premiere in a similar fashion to this, I haven't quite decided yet. I've started a little notebook to keep track of my errant thoughts and ideas for this story, just a few lines or phrases under titles like "Henry's Birthday", "Reunion", and "Proposal" (whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat). My work situation recently changed and I have a lot more free time at the office to write, so hopefully I'll be putting out some new installments soon!

Thank you to everyone who's reviewing, following, PMing, favorite-ing (I even made somebody's author alert!), I can't begin to tell you the lightness it brings to my heart to open up my email and see the notifications. You're incredible, and I hope you continue to enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

I've never been to a prison either, so I tried to keep things vague. Hopefully nothing is glaringly unbelievable.

I don't own the Flash. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

Cal had never been in a prison before. She looked around curiously as she and Barry were put through security, raising the infamous eyebrow at a guard who grumbled at her ukulele but could find no reason not to let her take it into the visiting room. Barry's father was already waiting on the other side of the partition when they entered, and Cal hung back so they could say hello privately.

"Hey Barry!" Henry was lit up to see his son, though he spared a curious glance for the young woman behind him. "Is that her?"

Barry burst out laughing as he held the phone to his ear. "Yeah, Dad, that's her. Happy birthday."

"Thank you son." Henry's face was warm, excited to see them. He waved Cal forward with one hand, and Barry moved the phone so it was held between both of them. "It is so nice to meet you, Cal."

"I can't tell you how much I've been looking forward to this, Henry," she grinned back. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you. What's this?" He indicated the small instrument in your lap.

"Well, I refuse to show up to a birthday party empty-handed, and since Barry said we couldn't bring you any physical gifts, a nice rendition of 'Happy Birthday' will just have to do."

Henry glanced from Barry back to Cal, curious. "Alright, let's hear it." Cal nodded, beginning to strum lightly.

"You can't play that in here, miss," the guard at the door said. Cal swiveled around, eyebrow out in full force over her glasses.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"You're not allowed to play that in here."

"Am I actually not allowed to play it in here or do you just not want me to?"

Henry's eyes met Barry's swiftly, but his son only grinned and shook his head.

"Excuse me miss?"

"Because just the fact that I'm allowed to bring it in here, fully strung and all, is a pretty damn strong indicator that I'm also allowed to play the thing, so any complaints to the contrary are probably personal in nature, and therefore not something your supervisor would enforce were I to discuss this with him or her. So are you _seriously_ going to stand there, look me in the eye, and tell me I can't play 'Happy Birthday' to a man celebrating with his son through a pane of glass, just because you, personally, don't want to hear it? I mean, are you just heartless, or do you _actually_ get a kick out of it?"

Cal had remained calm through her dressing down, eyebrow somehow managing to do most of the talking for her. The guard looked furious, and he swallowed several times as he worked his jaw. He seemed to be weighing his options before finally turning away from her.

"My apologies, miss."

"Thank you," Cal said primly, turning back to Henry and Barry. "Now, where were we?" As she looked up, she was struck at how similar the matching grins on their faces made them look.

"I approve, son," Henry chuckled. Cal turned pink, before visibly preening at the compliment, to both Barry and Henry's amusement.

They had a pleasant visit, but Barry and Cal found themselves having to leave far too soon. "It was so wonderful to meet you, Henry. I'd like to come see you again, if that's okay."

"I would love that," Henry grinned. "Thank you for the song."

"We're still working on getting you out of here, Dad," Barry said, serious for the first time since they'd been there. "I promise we will."

"We?" Henry asked, glancing at Cal, who nodded.

"We'll find a way to prove you're innocent."

"She knows everything, Dad," Barry said. "She's been helping. Everyone's been helping. We'll find a way."

Henry smiled at both of them. "Cal, can I please have a moment to say goodbye to my son?"

"Of course, Henry. I'll see you soon." She kissed Barry's cheek as she rose, telling him she'd meet him at the car. Barry watched her leave the room before turning back to his father, who was smiling softly at him.

"She reminds me a lot of your mother." Barry perked up at this. He'd lived more than half of his life without his mother, as much as he loved and remembered about her, he knew his father remembered more.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. She had that same fire. Remember all your mother had to do to get you to stop lying was to tap her foot? You knew better than to keep it up at that point. Did you see the way Cal used that eyebrow?"

"I know, the thing's practically a weapon! Speaking of, remind me to tell you about the time I asked her to learn to use a gun."

"Your mother would have liked her too." Barry perked up again.

"You really think so?"

"Oh, I know so, Barry. We Allen men stand no chance against that kind of woman, and we like it that way."

Barry laughed as he stood to leave. "Yeah, we definitely do."

* * *

I'm so torn right now. When I'm writing, I can't stop thinking about Dragon Age. When I'm playing Dragon Age, I can't stop thinking about writing. So I figure I'll post a new chapter, hopefully get it out of my system so I can concentrate, and hunker down on some video gaming. Hope you enjoy the latest installment!


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry if you got a double alert, I had to delete and correct something and repost.

Not only is it a belated Halloween fic, but it's the first introduction of Patty! I reference a moment in the show briefly, but this is an entirely original scenario. I may go back and write the scene referred to, but I haven't decided yet. Also, I thought it would be fun to reference the Bill and Ted reference made in an earlier installment. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

I don't own the Flash, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Doctor Who, Catwoman, or anything else you recognize referenced here. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

Patty wandered somewhat aimlessly among the clowns, fairies, lumberjacks, werewolves, and more at Joe's house. She had only been at the precinct for a few months, but apparently Joe's Halloween parties were legendary, and her fellow officers and detectives had talked endlessly about the upcoming soiree for the past two weeks.

It was impressive to be sure - the entire house had been redecorated, normal furnishings stashed somewhere and ghoulish replacements proudly taking residence - a long, plush coffin where the couch had been, faux skulls acting as lampshades, and so on - what looked like temporary wallpaper had been put up, giving the house a dark, dungeon-y look. The yard looked no less than a cemetery.

Patty had been unsure about coming this evening, after thoroughly embarrassing herself when she gave her number to Barry a few weeks ago. He was just so nice and sweet and funny, and he and Cal were always so professional at work, she'd had no idea they were even together, let alone living together. She'd even apologized to Cal, who had smiled and good-naturedly brushed it off.

 _"I mean it's not like I of all people don't understand, right?"_

All the same, she had waffled back and forth more than once before finally breaking out the trusted Buffy prom costume and getting in her car, but she was glad she had done so. Iris and Eddie were adorable as Raggedy Anne and Andy, Joe had professional-quality vampire fangs to go with his cape and fake blood, and Cisco, who she'd enjoyed working with on the Anti-Metahuman Task Force, refused to tell anyone who he was supposed to be until they could guess it.

His clothes, a long jacket, vest, button down, and slacks were all various shades of gray, with a slight metallic shimmer if you looked closely enough, and he wore sleek, silver-rimmed sunglasses. Making her way through the crowd to the group of friends, Patty sidled up to Caitlin, who made for a surprisingly sexy Catwoman, as they were guessing.

"Captain Cold?"

"Like I'd flatter that _criminal_! I don't even have a hood!"

"Doctor Who?"

"Uh, it's The Doctor, and no."

"Neo?"

"This isn't BLACK!"

"Oh come on, Cisco," Iris implored. "Just tell us."

"No way," he shook his head adamantly. "I'm ashamed of all of you, not recognizing a classic pop culture reference when it's right in front of you. _Peons_."

"Anyway," Caitlin happily steered the conversation away. "Where are Barry and Cal? I wanna see these super secret costumes!"

"Oh they're incredible!" Iris gushed. All heads snapped to her. "What! Cal's been dragging me to thrift stores for weeks to find everything they needed, and I helped her make part of them!"

"Here they come!" Joe said, seeing them walking up the drive. He opened the door just as they reached it. In unison, they each put a hand to their chests and threw their other arms out wide, angling their upper bodies towards each other.

 _"Party on, dudes!"_

Patty's mouth fell open at their costumes. Cal wore a ripped white tshirt under a large blue button down with dark embroidery, large gray sweatpants with an upside down question mark on the left thigh, and filthy white high tops with red laces. Barry had on a white Van Halen tshirt under a black vest, dark sweatpants cut off at the knees with a smiley face sticker and some kind of bumper sticker on the left thigh, all of this over gray sweatpants rolled to his knees, over dingy black low tops with red and gray tube socks, a faded orange shirt tied around his waist. His hair was also in disarray, not swept back neatly as usual, and they both had cardboard guitars on real guitar straps hanging from their shoulders. Just as she moved forward to compliment their incredible Bill and Ted costumes, Cisco actually squealed next to her, catching the attention of the thirty or so people in the vicinity.

"You guys!" he almost screamed. Looking around Joe, both Barry and Cal gasped, before Cal began jumping up and down, grabbing Barry's arm. The couple looked at each other, grinning, before throwing their arms out in the same gesture as before.

 _"Most excellent, Rufus!"_

Patty actually slapped a hand to her forehead. Of _course_ he was Rufus! How could she have missed that?

The three friends were all talking excitedly at each other, Barry and Cal pawing at Cisco's costume as he in turn inspected theirs.

"I thought you were going as Ashitaka!" Cal was saying excitedly. "You even bought that bow!"

"I know but then we watched this for our CC movie night last week and I got the idea!" He and Cal continued to chatter animatedly as Barry drifted to their other friends - Barry didn't quite understand the deep, giggly bond between the two, but loved it all the same. CC stood for Cal and Cisco, a moniker Joe had bestowed on them sarcastically that had stuck. Shaking his head at the two, he greeted the rest of the group.

"Great Buffy," Barry said to Patty, clearly impressed. She waved her fake-bloody stake at him to indicate his costume at large.

"Thanks, Cal did great with yours too!" Barry grinned, clearly proud of her.

"She actually made this vest, I didn't even know we had a sewing machine until she pulled it out of the closet."

"Yeah, that's the one thing we couldn't find, she said they were all too nice," Iris said absent mindedly as she fingered the fabric of the vest. "She did a good job."

"Well, I am a good Southern girl," Cal slipped underneath Barry's arm, natural twang making an appearance. "Grandmammy would roll over in her grave if I couldn't do something as simple as that."

"Is that what you really sound like?" Patty asked before she could stop herself. "Oh my God that was rude."

Cal threw her head back and laughed. "Oh Patty, I hope we get to be good friends. Yeah, this is my natural accent," she said, still twanging. "My adviser at MIT told me in our first meeting that if I wanted to be taken seriously I needed to tone it down at the very least. I was at a place where I was ready to distance myself, so I got rid of it completely. It still comes out from time to time. Barry loves it, bless his heart."

"You know, I know that's an insult now." Cal patted his arm affectionately even as she snickered.

"I know, honey."

* * *

I think you guys have probably figured out by now I don't really know how to end things. I hope you enjoyed!

MASSIVE THANKS to everyone who'd reviewed and added me to their favorite and alert lists! Knowing so many people are following what I'm doing is excellent motivation to keep writing, and I hope to keep doing you guys and these great characters justice!


	10. Chapter 10

Alright, ladies and gents, I've upped the rating due to sexual content because of this chapter. I wanted to explore Barry and Cal's first night together, and in the process I learned something about Cal I hadn't known before, until my fingers were typing it onto the page.

Trigger warning for mentions of drug abuse.

I don't own the Flash. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

'More than kissing' stayed on the backburner at first, as they really did try to watch Doctor Who for a while, but it wasn't long before they'd found themselves drawn together once again, this kiss more passionate than the first back at the lab that afternoon. Both of their shirts had come off and Barry had her pressed back into the arm of her couch, tongues fighting for dominance, and it was only when Cal gave an involuntary roll of her hips that they seemed to realize their position, and they pulled away, breathing heavily. Barry couldn't help but rake his eyes over her form as their chests heaved.

She still wore a plain, flesh colored bra, and he was glad that she seemed to feel no reservations about letting him look over the pale expanse of her torso. Her bellybutton was pierced, he noted with some amusement, and he found his eyes trailing lower before bringing them back to hers. "Do you want to stop?" he asked quietly.

He was pleased when she bit her lip, shaking her head, before wrapping a hand around his neck and bringing his lips back to hers. He slipped a hand behind her to unclasp her bra, leaning back again to pull it down her arms and toss it aside. He palmed one small breast and brought his lips to the other, reveling in the tiny mewls and sighs he pulled from her throat. He took a shuddering breath and pressed his forehead to her chest when she palmed him through his jeans, then resumed his actions as she began to work the button and zipper. Before she could slip her hand inside, however, he surged forward, pressing himself firmly against her core, drinking in her gasp as he kissed her again.

"Bedroom?" he asked, lips still pressed against hers.

"Bedroom," she agreed, and then suddenly in a rush of air they were laying in her bed.

Looking around, Cal began to laugh. "Alright superhero, enough showing off."

"Oh, I haven't even started showing off," he grinned down at her, kissing her lips again before working a path down her jaw and neck and across each breast, taking his time with each rosy point, then down the flat plane of her stomach.

Cal hadn't noticed he'd even undone the fastenings of her jeans until he was peeling them off her legs, along with her panties. Standing at the edge of her bed with her laid bare before him, fiery curls spread beneath her, Barry found himself unable to look away. He must have been staring longer than he meant to, until Cal's voice broke him from his reverie.

"Barry?"

She looked slightly nervous for the first time that evening, and he saw her fingers inching towards a sheet, likely to cover herself. No. Oh no.

"You're even more beautiful than I thought you would be," he said, because it was the only thing he could think to say, and because it was the truth. She looked surprised, and a slow grin spread across her face.

"You've thought about this too?" It was Barry's turn to be surprised - he hadn't expected to star in any of her fantasies as she'd starred in his.

"More times than I should probably admit to," he told her honestly. He kissed her again, just because he could, before moving back down to settle between her legs. He watched Cal's eyes darken and gloss over as she realized what he was planning to do, before looking down at his goal.

As a scientist thoroughly fascinated by his subject, Barry couldn't help but mentally catalogue what he saw. Her labia minora were much larger than her labia majora, extending several centimeters past the opening of her vulva, presenting him with fold upon fold of lush, dark rosy flesh, plump and glistening with arousal. The sight of her only heightened his own arousal, and he thought absentmindedly that he finally understood what Georgia O'Keefe was getting at. Using his thumbs to pull back some of those folds, he lowered his head and swirled his tongue around the bundle of nerves there.

He looked up to see her head fall back against the pillows, a low moan slipping from her lips. Barry couldn't help but grin as he repeated the action, before flattening his tongue against her and enjoying a slow, leisurely lick, ending in another swirl around her clit. She gasped this time, both hands sliding into his hair as her thighs settled against his shoulders.

She was musky and salty on his tongue, and just a little sweet, Barry noticed. He spread her further with his fingers and kissed her deeply there, reveling in the warm, silky texture. He had been with a couple of women in college, and one since, but the past couple of years had been something of a dry spell - if he was being honest he'd missed this as much as he'd missed actual sex, and if he was being smug he was good at it. The fact that it was Cal he was pleasuring only served to increase his personal enjoyment exponentially, and he settled comfortably into his task as his head began to swim with the natural high.

Her gasps and cries were quiet and delicate, so unlike the rest of her personality, and Barry wondered at the dichotomy. She began to slowly rock her hips against his mouth, legs periodically tightening around his head and then relaxing. "Fuck, baby," he heard her whisper, and if possible he grew harder at the endearment. He slid a hand up her torso to cup one of her breasts; they were small, small enough to fit entirely in his hands, but sensitive, and her nipple was rock hard as he rolled it between his fingers. One of her hands came up to grip that wrist and the other fisted in his hair at a deep thrust of his tongue, and her hips were moving in earnest now.

He continued to devour her, kneading one breast and sucking gently at her labia and clit until she was nearly vibrating under his hands. He slipped one finger into her without warning and bit down gently on her clit, and she fell apart around him, gasping his name.

He continued to pump his finger into her as she rode out her orgasm, prolonging it as long as he could as he watched her from his resting place on her thigh. When she had finally relaxed he kissed her there softly again, before standing next to the bed as he wiped at his face. Cal rose to her knees on the matress before him, hooking her fingers into his waistband to push his jeans and underwear down as she kissed him deeply, careless of the lingering traces of her arousal on his lips. She wrapped one hand around his length, swirling her fingers in the precum leaking from the head as lubrication, and it was his turn to gasp as she pumped him firmly. He somehow managed to push her down onto the bed, laying comfortably between her legs before breaking the kiss to rest his forehead against hers, holding his weight with his arms.

"Condom?"

"Nexplanon, don't need one."

Sending out a silent thank you to whoever invented subdermal contraception, Barry rose up on one elbow as he used his other hand to guide his erection to her opening. She reached down as well to part her labia with her fingers, a sight he found unexpectedly sexy, and he slid into her in a quick, sure motion. "Oh, fuck," had crossed his lips before he realized, and Cal giggled breathlessly beneath him.

"I know exactly how you feel." Then she twisted her hips against him, her breath hitching as his pubic hair scratched against her sensitive clit, and he was lost, crushing her to his chest as he thrust into her wet heat over and over again.

It wasn't long before her slick walls began to flutter around him, her fingers scrambling for purchase against his back and shoulders as they kissed hungrily. He slipped a hand in between them, working his fingers at the sensitive pearl just above where they were joined. She suddenly clenched tightly around him, gasping against his lips as she came hard, and Barry followed quickly, groaning into her mouth.

He thrust into her a few more times, slowly, before slipping out and collapsing at her side, laying his head across her chest and draping an arm over her abdomen as her arms wrapped tightly around him. He felt her press a kiss to his forehead, breathing shakily as he was.

"That was incredible, B," she murmured, running her fingers through his hair. "No one's ever paid that kind of attention to me before."

"That is a crime," he breathed against her, watching the muscles in her abdomen twitch as he toyed gently with the silver hoop in her bellybutton. "And I happen to really enjoy giving you that kind of attention, so get used to it."

"Who even taught you how to do that?"

Barry lifted his head to look at her. She looked genuinely curious, so he ignored his reservations and answered her, laying his head back down. "Amanda Ryland, my freshman year of college. We were partners in our chemistry lab, we spent a lot of time together studying. After I told her I was a virgin, she offered to be my first, and sort of teach me what to do and what women liked. She was really pretty and we got along great, I knew she wouldn't do anything to embarrass me, and neither one of us were interested in a real relationship, so it seemed like a pretty good offer. Better than making a fool of myself at some frat party or something." Suddenly he began laughing. "You know, I never even told Iris that. As far as she knows Evie and Rachel are the only women I've been with."

Cal laughed with him. "Well I need to send that woman a thank you letter. As well as this Evie and Rachel, for releasing you back into the world for me to claim."

"Oh, claim, is that what that was? Do I belong to you now?" He was grinning as he rose back up on one elbow to look down at her. She looked at him incredulously.

"Are you kidding? The sweetest, kindest, funniest, bravest, most compassionate man I've ever met is also absolutely fucking mindblowing in the sack? I'm about to tattoo my name across your forehead."

Barry laughed until there were tears in his eyes, Cal joining in. Even as she kissed him, though, he could see her expression falter. "What is it?" he asked, not understanding what could have cause the sudden seriousness.

"Barry, there's something about me I haven't told you yet. Something big."

"Don't tell me, is Cal Parks just a cover for your crime-fighting superhero secret identity?" he asked, grinning. He was rewarded with a chuckle, but she sombered again quickly.

"Nothing so noble as that. I should have told you before we got this involved, and I'm sorry."

Barry was worried now, and he pulled them both into a sitting position, facing her. "What is it, Cal?"

"Barry...I'm an addict."

Barry blinked owlishly for several seconds. "You're...what?"

Cal was biting her lip. "An addict. I haven't used in almost four years, but you never stop being one. I go to a clean cops meeting once a month, they let me in because I work for the department."

Barry's head was reeling. "Um...what did you..."

"Percocet. I was riding on the back of my friend's motorcycle when I was 20, we were in an accident that tore my knee all to hell. I needed two surgeries to make sure it was put back together, and I was drugged to the gills the whole time. I was fine at first, no problems, but then a few weeks after the accident my sister came to visit and I talked to Tori for the last time. After that I sort of...went off the deep end for a while."

"I can understand why," Barry said. "What made you stop?"

"Mathias, the friend who was operating the motorcycle. He'd had his own...problems in his teen years. We didn't see each other for several months while he studied abroad, and when he got back and saw what I was doing, he was so mad he dragged me back to his apartment and I spent two weeks detoxing on his bathroom floor. I've been clean and going to regular meetings ever since." She shrugged a little, not meeting his eyes.

Barry didn't say anything for a long time. He watched her instead, noticed how she'd drawn the sheets up to her chest and sort of caved in on herself, making her look smaller and frailer than he knew she was. He reached out one hand to tuck a curl behind her ear, and she looked up at him.

"I'm really proud of you," he told her simply.

Her eyes widened. "Really?" she asked in a small, hopeful voice.

"Of course."

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad that you got clean?"

"Because I wasn't to begin with, and because I didn't tell you about it."

"Cal, until just now, I don't think it was really any of my business unless you wanted it to be. I didn't have any right or reason to know. Is this the real reason you don't drink?" He asked as an afterthought.

"Sort of. I've never had a problem with alcohol, and I don't want to. It's safer to avoid it altogether."

He gathered her into his arms, laying them both back against the pillows. "That's smart. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to go through withdrawal and stay away from it all. So...when you asked me to come over the day Torionne died..."

She nodded, closing her eyes as she pressed her face into his neck. "I was...very tempted, for the first time in a long time. Having you around helped me remember why I didn't want to do it."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to be good enough for you."

* * *

I had originally intended to end with Cal threatening to tattoo her name on Barry's forehead, because we all know Cal can joke about anything, even sex. But then my fingers just kept typing - it was like there was more to the moment than I'd been aware of in my head, and my hands were getting it onto the screen for me. I didn't know she was a recovering addict, or that she had invited Barry over to help curb her craving, but somehow it also makes sense to me.

Cal is easy to get along with and tries to make the people around her happy because she's known dark times in her own life, and understands that everyone handles those struggles differently. She is quick to forgive others because the people she hurt were quick to forgive her. I think her confession is a strong indicator of her feelings for Barry, because that's a very scary thing to share with someone when their opinion of you is so important.

I have another installment (post-engagement) almost typed up, but it's a very emotionally traumatic moment in Barry and Cal's life, and I think I'm going to sit on it for a while and work on a couple of other ideas in my little notebook.

Again, if you didn't know, there's a companion piece to this on my profile called Put Another Dime in the Jukebox. I don't update it as regularly as this, but it will definitely fill in some blanks for you! I hope you all enjoyed this installment, I look forward to hearing what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

Serious time jump, folks - this takes place roughly two years after Barry and Cal get married, they're about 28.

Also, I'm only as accurate as google translate.

I don't own the Flash. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

"Are you guys going to find out the sex?" Iris asked Cal over their weekly lunch date. Cal wrinkled her nose as she took a drink of her coffee. Decaf. Blegh.

"We don't know yet. We were each hoping the other would have a strong opinion so we could just go with it, but we can't decide between the two of us. We've actually been taking a poll, so what do you think?"

Iris laughed. "Of course the two of you are taking a poll. You know me, Eddie and I waited. I loved the element of surprise."

"We're getting a lot of that. We can't find out for a few more weeks anyway, so I guess we'll see."

* * *

"Look what I had made for little Flash!"

Cal and Barry both looked up from their work in the lab as Cisco walked in, holding out a onesie as though it were a trophy. It was red with the words "Future Superhero" in yellow, complete with the Flash symbol, and both Allens began laughing.

"Cisco, you've been giving us presents for weeks, the shower's not even until next month," Cal scolded, though she obligingly leaned back so he could drape the onesie over her stomach, which was coming along nicely at six months, as he had done with all the others.

"My best friends are having a baby! I'm allowed to be excited!"

Barry shook his head as he turned back to his microscope. "Thank you Cisco. I'm sure little Flash will love it." Both parents had been mortified when they'd started using their friend's ridiculous nickname for their unborn child without meaning to, but eventually decided it was as good a gender neutral moniker as any so long as they didn't use it in public.

Cisco beamed as he seated himself on a stool next to Cal. "So do you guys have a name picked out yet?"

"We don't know if it's a boy or a girl, so not yet," Cal answered, signing the report she had been working on and closing the file.

"Oh come on, you have to have thought of some names for both."

Barry and Cal exchanged a small smile. "We have some ideas."

* * *

"How far along is she now?" Joe asked, sitting on the back porch of the house Barry and Cal had purchased last year. It had a wraparound porch and a huge backyard, where their friends and family were currently gathered on the grass. Cal was enormous in the rocking chair Barry had brought out from the nursery, and being waited on hand and foot by both Cisco and Patty, which she found simultaneously hilarious and annoying.

"42 weeks as of yesterday," Barry answered with a half grin, and Joe whistled. "Yeah, I know. I'm starting to get a little worried, but her doctor said as long as she still feels okay and little Flash isn't in distress we don't have to induce, and Cal wants to wait it out."

"Remember how Iris was begging for an induction at 37 weeks?"

"In all fairness she was having twins," Eddie said, walking through the back door with said toddlers on either hip. Joe rose to take his grandsons from his son-in-law, taking them down to their mother on the lawn. "She has been really calm about everything, though. My sisters were a mess the closer they got to having their first babies. The thought of labor terrified them, Iris too."

"She's been taking a class on hypnobirthing. It uses meditation, visualization, and breathing techniques to reduce or even eliminate pain during labor, even help speed it up. The research isn't totally sound, but she talked to a lot of women who said it really helped them and figured it couldn't hurt to try. She did tell me this morning she thinks it'll be within the next couple of days."

* * *

Several hours later, around 2am, Barry sat cross-legged on the hospital bed as Cal paced the room in her loosest, most comfortable dress. Her water had broken at the party, and they were waiting for her to dilate the last two centimeters so she could start pushing. After a minute she stopped, taking several deep breaths, hands wrapped around her stomach. When the contraction had passed, she turned back to him. "I think it's time."

Barry's grin was filled with such boyish thrill she laughed. "Go get the doctor, superhero, then get back here and help me have this baby." He kissed her cheek and helped her lay down before leaving the room, and was back a minute later with the doctor and nurses in tow.

"Update - aside from your sister, who is on a plane from London as we speak, every single member of our family is in that waiting room. Also, your mom is not happy we won't let her in here," he told her, leaning against the railings of the bed as the they checked her.

"My mom can suck it," Cal said cheerfully, and Dr Huang chuckled as he pulled back.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "This is your last chance, you were right that it's time."

"My mother is far too dramatic to be in here for this," Cal said firmly as Barry helped her to her feet. "The last thing I need is her freaking out while I'm trying to stay relaxed." Barry was nodding emphatically to the doctor as she spoke. The older man chuckled again as he directed them to the prepared area, where Barry took his assigned place standing behind his wife, pulling up his sleeves and reaching around to hold her and support her weight, just in time for the next contraction to start.

After what Barry later told Cal was 45 minutes, she gave a final long groan and was rewarded with a sense of intense physical relief and the sound of a piercing cry. Barry started laughing in her ear.

"You did it, Nia! You're so incredible, you did it!"

* * *

Kissing his wife and child again, Barry left the room, feeling like he was flying as he headed for the waiting room. He thought his smile might split his face in two as he rounded the final corner and was greeted with more than a dozen anxious family members.

"Cal and Francis Abigail are both happy and healthy."

The room erupted with cheers as they surged forward to congratulate the new father. Barry told them they could only go back in groups of four, though he insisted Iris and Cisco join the grandparents for the first visit, and the late hour made it easy for the nurses to smile and look the other way.

Cal was sitting up comfortably in bed, looking surprisingly refreshed as she stared down at the little girl in her arms. She looked up upon their arrival, beaming at them as they gathered around her. She passed Francis first to Gwen, who was already crying as she took her. Barry kissed his wife again, settling comfortably behind her in the bed and wrapping his arms around her.

All of the grandparents were crying, in fact, as she was passed to Jacob, Henry, Joe, Iris, and finally Cisco, who immediately started giggling when she was placed in his arms.

"Alright, look what you guys did, good job!" He cooed over her, noticing her hospital bracelet. "Why did you spell Francis like a boy's name?"

Barry and Cal grinned at each other. It had been so hard to keep this plan a secret, and leave it to their friend to give them a perfect opening. "Because she's named for her goofball of a godfather," Cal said, and then giggled at his shocked expression. "If he's up for the job, that is."

But Cisco was already entirely focused on the infant he was holding. "Ah _, Francisca! Mi pequeño Paquita, vamos a entrar en tantos problemas juntos..._ "

Barry and Cal both laughed, especially Cal who understood enough to catch his meaning. Barry turned to Iris. "Of course we want you to be her godmother."

"Oh, like I needed another excuse to spoil her rotten."

"How are you feeling, dear?" Gwen asked, smoothing her daughter's hair back.

"Tired, but actually pretty alright," she smiled up at her. "That hypnobirthing stuff really worked, it was mostly just really, really uncomfortable."

"I am totally Cissy's number one babysitter, she loves her Uncle Cisco," the exuberant godfather said, placing the girl in her father's arms. Cal groaned, burying her face in her hands while Barry pulled a face.

" _Cissy?_ No way. My daughter's name is Francis, and that is what you will call her."

* * *

It took their family more than an hour to rotate through all the visits, and it was nearly 5am when they had all dispersed to their homes and hotels. The exhaustion was finally hitting Barry as he entered their room after saying goodnight and good morning to their parents. Cal seemed to be keeping her eyes open by sheer force of will, gazing down at Francis in wonder as she breastfed.

"This feels so strange," she said quietly as Barry lay down in the space next to her on the bed, propped up on one elbow. "But also so right."

"It looks right," he said, leaning forward to kiss first their daughter, then the swell of Cal's breast, then her lips. "Thank you so much, Nia. I love you."

She nuzzled against him, baby happily nursing away. "I love you too, B."

Barry leaned back and watched them for a while, fascinated, until Cal giggled. "What is it?"

"You know we're going to end up calling her Cissy, right?"

"Can you not even let me _pretend?_ "

* * *

Translation: "Ah _, Francisca! My little Paquita, we are going to get into so much trouble together..._ "

Paquita is a diminuitive of Francisca, which is the female version of Francisco, which is Cisco's full first name.

Also, fun fact that will be expanded upon at a later date - at this point in time, Cisco is with - drumroll please - Patty! When did it happen? HOW did it happen? Stay tuned!


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry it's been so long! I haven't had much opportunity to write, and it was surprisingly hard to get this finished. Just a simple glance into a lazy weekend with Cal and Barry.

I've shared my love of Dragon Age with Cal. Potential spoilers for Trespasser, if you're a gamer.

I don't own the Flash or BioWare. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, _HISSRAD?!_ "

Barry jerked around when Cal shrieked, spilling the milk he'd been pouring into his bowl of cereal. "What is it, are you okay?"

It was late morning on a Sunday, and Barry had slept in later than usual, waking up to find Cal's side of the bed cold and hearing the sounds of fighting from the living room. Shuffling out in his pajamas, he'd found her right where he expected - she had been playing the newly released final content for Dragon Age all weekend, and he knew she'd been close to the end when they'd gone to bed the previous evening. She was curled on the couch in front of the television, and had paused to kiss him good morning as he passed her on his way to the kitchen for breakfast. Looking at her now, she had risen up onto her knees and thrown both hands in the air in surprise. He could hear one of the characters speaking on the television.

" _Change of plans. Nothing personal...bas_."

" _WHY_ , BULL?!"

Barry started laughing as she paused the game and began pacing in front of the couch. He turned back to the mess he'd made, cleaning it up in less than a second before taking a seat next to her spot. "What happened?"

"My homie just turned on me!"

"One of your companions?" Barry wasn't as much of a gamer as his girlfriend, and Cal had explained how player decisions affected character opinions and storyline outcomes and could result in drastically different games on different playthroughs. It was an interesting concept, he thought, and he enjoyed listening to her talk about it all in detail. She had even asked him for his advice for moral decisions in the game.

"Yes, but I don't understand! He's always been so loyal, what did I do to make him turn on me? I can't believe this!" She plopped unceremoniously back onto the couch and began playing again, focusing on the battle even as she began to talk shit at the screen, much to Barry's amusement.

"You don't even _like_ them that much you perverted rhino!"

"How could you do this to Dorian, you TRAITOR!"

"Even after I drank your stupid ale and hit you with that stupid stick!"

Barry chuckled periodically as she continued, some insults more colorful than others and most of them confusing, until the fight was over, the traitorous companion lying dead. She huffed and scowled as she listened to the dialogue that followed.

"Now I'm down a party member, you stupid big-horned asshole. Serves you right."

"What do you think you did to make him turn on you?" Barry asked, finishing the last of his cereal.

"I don't know! Like I said, he's always been so loyal, even after I let the Chargers...oh. _Ohhhh_. I know what I did. I screwed up _early_."

Barry couldn't help but laugh again at the stricken look on Cal's face as she realized what decision had resulted in this disastrous outcome. He loved watching her get caught up in the stories of her favorite games; it was the same way he got caught up in his favorite movies. He leaned over to kiss her cheek and she looked up to him with a grin.

"What was that for?"

"For being the exact kind of crazy I needed in my life."

Her grinned widened, understanding exactly what he meant. "Believe me, it's my pleasure."

* * *

Just a little domestic fluff. I hope you enjoy it!


	13. Chapter 13

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been so long, I've been seriously lacking inspiration for these stories, but I fished out a couple of unfinished pieces and sat down to work on them. I'm still getting follows and favorites with the occasional review, so here's an update for everyone!

Before I get started, I would like to address an anonymous review left several weeks ago that essentially accused me of racism by suggesting that Cal is simply a whitewashed version of Iris. I'm ashamed to say that I let this bullshit get to me and it has played a factor in my writer's block. But you know what I decided, you guys? Screw them. As far as characterization is concerned, anyone who's taken the time to actually read either Feeling Good or Jukebox would clearly see that Iris and Cal are foils for each other, and intentionally so. As far as the whitewashing accusation, I can only assume that a) they didn't read it, or b) they have no reading comprehension skills. Cal is a young white female who grew up with a young black male as her best friend, while Barry is a young white male who grew up with a young black female as his best friend. The difference, however, is in the culture of their respective upbringings, and I made the decision for Cal to be white (over Hispanic, actually - think nerdy Naya Rivera) as a deliberate parallel to Barry to showcase how a relationship like that is still very much taboo in some parts of the good ole usa. I have no doubt that most, if not all, of my readers have picked up on that, and for that I appreciate you.

I'm so terribly sorry if this is coming across with too much aggression, but to be honest this person got me hot under the collar. Constructive criticism is one thing, but to denigrate without thorough reading and analysis is simply rude and egotistical. I never criticize unless I've tried to think of all the reasons a writer might have made that artistic decision and I still think they might benefit from an idea or suggestion. And to do so anonymously - without any link to one's own writing - is cowardly. I'm tempted to moderate guest reviews so I can screen stuff like this, but it's not worth the effort. This is the only time I'll address such mindless posturing, and I'll be leaving the review up for the world to see. Anything further will be deleted, however.

Again, I'm really sorry if it seems like I'm Hulking out :( I promise I'm a chill fucking lady.

I don't own the Flash. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

"Yo, peep that," Cisco said, setting their coffees on the table and displaying a small slip of paper proudly.

"Wooow," Barry drew out exaggeratedly while Cal giggled with her head on his shoulder.

"That's how it's done, young Padawan," Cisco continued, ignoring the tease. "Going on a date next week."

"Nice," Cal congratulated him. "Things are looking up for Cisco Ramon."

"I guess so," he said. "Still stuck with these powers, though. I just don't know how to feel about them."

"Hey look," Barry told him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "You don't gotta go through it alone."

"And now," Caitlin said, looking to perk up her friend, "you need a cool name."

"Oh, snap! You're totally right," Cisco agreed, clearly not having thought of it before. "I gotta think about this one. Well you know me, it's gotta be perfect." The other three nodded in agreement. "Something that really sings, you know, something like..."

"Vibe?" Barry offered. Cal's eyes widened, looking at her best friend with a nod.

"Vibe," Caitlin agreed.

"Vibe," Cisco repeated, trying it out, a small smile growing on his face. The four scientists toasted their coffee cups to the new name, laughing in celebration.

"Um, excuse me. Cal Parks?" They all swiveled around to face the young woman who had approached their table. She appeared to be around their age, with a pixie cut dyed a brilliant shade of purple, multiple facial piercings, and an artistically ripped and frayed outfit consisting of mostly black. She was nervous for some reason, worrying one of her lip piercings between her teeth. Cal's eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a moment, before recognition dawned across her face, followed by a darker expression her friends had rarely seen.

"Shelby Malcolm?"

Shelby gave a tentative smile. "Yeah! It's good to see you, you look really good."

"Is there something I can help you with before you leave and never approach me again?"

Shelby looked stricken. "Cal, I -" She reached out as though to touch Cal, who visibly flinched and retreated further into Barry's side. Barry wrapped his arm around her, exchanging a confused glance with Cisco and Caitlin as Shelby drew her hand back, shame written across her features. She opened and closed her mouth more than once, before taking a deep breath.

"Everyone talked about you for weeks."

"And how the fuck was that different from the ten-plus years before that?"

Shelby flinched this time, but seemed to be unable to stop once she'd decided to start. "You left. You. Just you. No one could believe it. You and Tori were practically joined at the hip and you left without him."

"You can stop now," Cal all but snarled. Barry, Cisco, and Caitlin were beginning to realize what was happening, and Barry's arm tightened around her for comfort. He couldn't exactly blame her for her hostility.

"No, this is coming out wrong." Shelby worried her lip piercing some more, looking equal parts determined and petrified. "What I mean is, it wasn't different. You were gone, you weren't even there, but everyone just kept talking. Because nothing in that fucking town ever changes."

Cal was clearly taken aback at this, and found herself at a loss for words. Shelby didn't seem to have noticed, continuing on like she was unable to keep the words from spilling out. "All this bullshit about how they knew all along, you finally proved they were right, you were too much of a coward to admit it. But they were wrong. They were so wrong. You were brave."

The four friends exchanged glances, Cal's eyes widening a little more as the other woman continued. "You spent fifteen years with someone who never once abandoned you, who you never once abandoned. You always had someone to fall back on, you never had to worry if someone was going to be there for you or not. I never had that." Shelby was almost crying now, and took a moment to sniff loudly and scrub at her eyes, smudging her black makeup even more. "Getting out of there was so important to you, everyone knew that. You wanted it so bad you did it alone, I can't imagine how scared out of your skull you must have been to do it without him. No one else in that _stupid_ little backwater town has ever been like you. I think that's why we treated you like we did - we always knew you were better than we were.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you for weeks. I didn't have anyone like you and Tori had each other, there wasn't a single person there, my parents included, that it would kill me to leave the way it must have killed you. And if you could still do it, still decide that what made you happy was the most important thing, then there was no excuse for me to stick around just to marry Jimmy Rudkins and pop out six kids. So I left for New York. I'm a professional photographer now."

Cal was entirely unsure of how to feel about the speech, which was clearly rushed and unthought, but something was telling her to keep listening. Shelby took a deep breath and the tears finally fell from her eyes.

"Getting out of there has taught me so much and I - I will never regret _anything_ as much as I regret the way I treated the two of you. I will never be able to make up for the part I played in his...his death. But I'm sorry, Cal. I'm _so, so_ sorry." Shelby reached forward quickly, awkwardly squeezing her arms around Cal's neck, before turning on her heel and walking away from them, leaving Jitters and getting lost in the crowd. Cal's eyes were blown wide open, frozen in her shock as her friends turned back to her.

"Cal?" Barry said quietly. "Are you okay?" But she had begun breathing quickly and shallowly, and she looked pale even as tears were gathering in her eyes. Barry bustled her quickly out of the cafe, Cisco and Caitlin on their heels, being sure to turn in the opposite direction Shelby had gone, settling her onto a secluded bench as she began to cry in great, gasping sobs. Barry plucked her glasses from her nose and tucked her underneath his arm as Caitlin sat next to them and Cisco knelt at her feet, gently rubbing her knee.

"I'm sorry," she gasped into his neck. "I'm sorry, I just...I need a minute..."

"Hey, you're fine," Barry assured her, kissing the top of her head. "You're fine, you just had a big shock."

She did calm down quickly, scrubbing at her eyes and giving a watery chuckle. "Shit, I'm sorry. That was just a really unexpected conversation."

"What shocked you so much you nearly had a full-blown anxiety attack?" Caitlin asked, not-so-subtly taking her pulse at her wrist as she held her hand.

"That woman played a big part in making my life hell for almost fifteen years. When I ran from my hometown, I ran. I haven't even been back in the state. I never thought I'd see anyone from there ever again, and to not only see one of them, but...she...she apologized. The entire town treated us like absolute garbage for nearly fifteen years, and she's the only person that's ever apologized for it. It took me years of therapy to accept that this exact scenario would never happen, and it literally just unfolded itself before my eyes. Is it wrong that I'm really glad she ran away before I had to say anything?"

Her friends chuckled. "Not at all," Barry said, sliding her glasses back onto her nose so she could see properly once again. "Feel up to heading back to the lab?"

"Yes. But only after we go back for our coffees. She can apologize all she wants, bitch won't rob me of my caffeine fix."

* * *

Because, yet again, she can joke about anything. I appreciate that about her.

I also appreciate you guys! I genuinely love each and every one of you that takes the time to read, favorite, follow, and review. Please know that even when I go long stretches of time without updating, I'm reading your reviews on probably a weekly basis and thinking about the stories all the time, searching and scraping for ideas and inspiration. They're in shorty supply, but I'm fighting tooth and nail to write for you guys, please believe that.

In other news, I have published a couple of other stories that are also in limbo while I await more inspiration, a Criminal Minds/The Magicians crossover with Spencer/OC, and a Star Wars: The Force Awakens fic with Poe/OC. I'm going to do my best to work on all three(four) simultaneously, so if any of those fandoms tickles your fancy please check them out!

I hope I you guys enjoyed this installment!


	14. Chapter 14

First of all I have to say thank you to Siddystar101 and AmazonaZafrina for their tremendously sweet reviews on my last chapter. Your words of encouragement mean so much to me and were a huge part of my motivation to sit down and write not only this two-shot, but another one-shot on Put Another Dime in the Jukebox. I can't wait to hear what you guys think of these most recent installments!

I mentioned a few installments ago a piece I was working on that involved a traumatic occurrence in Barry and Cal's life together, and I've finally sat down to finish working on that and get it posted. It started getting fairly long, so I decided to split it into two parts, the second of which will be posted by Sunday. Sad feels incoming :(

I don't own the Flash. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

"Barry, Cal, we've got another body, let's go." Joe was in all business mode as he and Eddie entered the lab.

"Already?" Cal asked, horrified, looking away from her computer screen. "That's three in as many days!"

"I know, and we're no closer to catching this guy, even with Barry doing Flash patrols. What about those blood results?"

"We only just finished isolating the different blood samples," Barry said, pulling away from his microscope and gathering his field case. "The first one just ran, it's the victim's, but the second sample is still going through the system to find a hit."

"I'll stay with it," Cal offered. "It shouldn't be more than another twenty minutes before it finishes, I'll tell Singh and call you when it's done." Barry kissed the side of Cal's head as he left with the detectives.

The crime scene was only a half mile from the police station, just around the corner from Central City Hospital. Joe and Eddie were speaking to the older man who had found the body in the back alley outside his convenience store. Barry pulled his collar up against the February morning chill as he pulled out a pair of gloves and began working.

After several minutes Joe's phone rang and he excused himself to walk a few yards away to answer it. "West. Yeah, Singh, why?"

Barry tuned out the rest of the conversation as he packed up his case. Eddie walked over, asking if he'd found anything.

"Maybe a blood sample, but that won't help since we've already got one. Has Cal called with the results yet?"

"Barry!"

Barry swiveled around where he knelt on the concrete. The voice that had called his name didn't belong to detective Joe West, it belonged to his foster-father Joe. "What is it, Joe?"

"Where is your cell phone, Barry? Cisco has been trying to call you!"

Barry patted his pockets. "I must have left it back at the lab, what's wrong?" Joe didn't answer him immediately, and Barry noticed for the first time that he looked sick. "What's going on?"

"Cal fainted in the police station, they came to get her in an ambulance. They're probably almost to the hospital, we have to go now!" Barry felt the blood drain from his face, and it was all he could do to run at a normal pace with Joe, knowing they were only a block from the hospital. Eddie stayed to finish at the crime scene, promising to follow in the car in a moment.

The paramedics were just unloading the stretcher from the ambulance as they reached the emergency room entrance, Cisco climbing out after them looking terrified. A tall, black man was waiting by the door, presumably the doctor.

"I'm her fiance!" Barry called as he approached them. "I'm her fiance, what's going on?"

"Has she been displaying any strange symptoms?" the man asked in a strong Kenyan accent as they passed through the doors and moved through the halls. Barry couldn't get close enough to touch her, but she was pale and breathing shallowly. The crotch of her jeans was stained dark, like she'd urinated on herself.

"No, I mean..." Barry racked his brain. "She's been complaining of a dull ache in her lower left abdomen, she thought it might be a cyst, she scheduled an ultrasound for next week."

"Nausea, vomiting, lightheadedness?"

"No."

"Is she allergic to anything?"

"No, but she doesn't want narcotics."

"Could she be pregnant?" Barry gaped at him.

"I don't think so, she had her implant replaced a few months ago. What is wrong with her?"

"I won't know for sure until I get her into surgery, someone will be out to talk with you soon."

"Surgery!" Barry tried to get more details, but a nurse was stopping him in front of a door that said Restricted Access and then they had taken her out of sight. He whirled around to face Joe and Cisco, noticing Eddie running through the doors. "What happened, Cisco?"

"I don't know, Barry! I was showing Singh the new Boot upgrade, and she came in to give him some blood results. She kind of winced, and he asked her what was wrong. She said she'd been having those pains, but that they were getting a lot worse. Then she got kind of pale, and just kind of slumped over. She woke up for a few seconds in the ambulance and said something about her shoulder hurting. She was...she was bleeding, Barry. Vaginally. They said probably internally too." Cisco looked like he was about to cry - Cal was his best friend, and seeing her collapse and then watching her vitals go haywire in the ambulance made him feel helpless.

Barry was shaking, and he was grateful for Joe steering him into a chair before his knees gave out. He dropped his head into his hands, mind racing with possible diagnoses. While each one he thought of seemed worse than the last, he was grateful that precious few of them had any possibility of being fatal. He focused on his breathing as he felt Joe sit next to him, rubbing his eyes with his palms to clear away any unshed tears, and looked up as he heard familiar voices.

"We were having breakfast when Eddie called, what's happening?" Iris came immediately to the seat on Barry's other side, and he was instantly comforted at being surrounded by his family. Caitlin was on her heels, clearly having slipped into the role of calm professional.

Barry shook his head. "Cisco was with her, they don't know exactly what's wrong."

Cisco relayed the story again, mostly to Caitlin, who furrowed her brow as she cataloged the information. "She said her shoulder hurt?"

"Yeah."

"When she was laying down in the ambulance?"

"Yeah."

"Caitlin?" Barry asked. "Do you know what's wrong?"

Caitlin turned to him, brow furrowed. "I have an idea, Barry, but I can't know for sure. We should wait for the doctor."

The doctor didn't reappear for another three hours, and the only information they could get in the meantime was "She's still in surgery." Joe called Cal's parents while Iris called Henry, and the former were currently on a plane while the latter was in his car, all due to arrive sometime in the afternoon.

"Family for Cal Parks?"

The doctor was instantly beset upon by six people, but to his credit he only blinked and continued.

"First, she's fine. She's in recovery, but we used non-narcotics as you requested, and they can take a while to clear the system so she may be out for a while. I can take two of you to see her in a minute. Second, she's going to need each and every one of you very much - more than you know - to help her get through this."

* * *

Barry sat at her bedside with Joe, holding one small hand in his own and brushing his fingers through the hair at her forehead. He hadn't said a word since the doctor had finished explaining a few minutes ago, and Joe was watching him closely.

"Whatever you're thinking about asking, just ask," Barry said suddenly, still not looking away from Cal's face.

Joe was surprised. "Now's not the time."

"Dad, right now I'll talk about anything that isn't the reason she's in this bed."

Joe felt his heart break a little more. He hated to see his kids going through this, for Cal had very much become his kid. But it was precisely because she _was_ his kid that he had to ask. "Non-narcotics?"

Barry sighed, sitting back in his chair to look at his foster father, rubbing his thumb over Cal's knuckles absentmindedly. "She gets her five year coin next week. She wanted to have it in her hand when she told you."

Joe blew out a long breath. "Good. Good for her."

Her fingers suddenly twitched in Barry's hand, and when he looked back to her, her eyelids were fluttering. "Cal? Sweetheart?"

Her eyes were heavy and opened sluggishly. When she had blinked several times and begun to squint, Barry gently slid her glasses onto her nose, and the world came into focus.

"B? Whass goin' on? Why's my head all fuzzy?" Suddenly her eyes widened, as panic burned away the lingering drowsiness. "Why is my head all fuzzy?"

"You're fine, Cal, they're non-narcotic," he soothed, then did his best to grin. "It doesn't count if it's for medical reasons, you know."

"Does to me." Cal began to look around and saw Joe for the first time. "Joe, I-"

"No, kiddo, you don't owe me an explanation," he said, coming forward to lay a hand on her head. "I love you."

Cal's eyes furrowed. "I love you too, Joe. But...why am I in the hospital? Oh!" She suddenly winced, hand coming to rest lightly on her abdomen. "Oh, that hurts. What happened to me?"

Joe and Barry exchanged a glance, and Joe leaned down to kiss Cal's forehead before slipping silently from the room. He closed the door behind him, leaning against it for a moment and wiping at his eyes before walking down the hall to the little waiting room where the rest of their family waited. Cisco stood immediately when he entered the room, intent to take his turn, but Joe held up a hand.

"Not yet. He's telling her, so just...not yet."

He sat heavily in the chair next to Cisco's, taking up the silent vigil with the rest of them. They weren't sure what exactly they were waiting for until they heard it coming from down the hall - a high, keening wail, raw with sorrow, that made them all flinch.

* * *

Singh said his goodbyes to Joe before hitting the end button and letting the cell phone clatter to his desk, passing a hand over his face. Allen and Parks were only 26. They were too damn young for this, he thought. They didn't deserve this.

Professionally speaking, it was an unusual situation. While anyone would worry if one of their coworkers was seriously ill or injured, Parks prided herself on being able to charm her way into anyone's good graces. She'd made many friends at the precinct, and made a point to know everyone by name. It was hard not to have affection for her, and seeing her health in serious risk had been hard on all of them. While he knew his top available officers were still working the serial case, he rather thought everyone else was mostly pretending to work. He couldn't bring himself to blame them - he was worried himself. Parks was a good kid, and he liked Allen a lot more than he let on.

He rose and exited his office swiftly, rapping his knuckles on the glass of his window to gather everyone's attention, and the previously bustling station was instantly still and quiet.

"I just spoke with Joe, he's still at the hospital with Barry. Eddie and Cisco are there as well." He was purposefully using first names - now was not the time for professional distance. "Cal is fine. She's awake, Barry's with her, and she's going to be okay. Their parents are all headed this way."

The relief in the room was palpable, and Singh could see many sets of tense shoulders relax. It had been hours, after all. Patty was the first to speak up. "What happened to her, Captain?"

Singh took a deep breath. Joe had been reluctant to share the details with him, but Singh reminded him that Parks wasn't just part of his family, she was part of the police family as well, and the family was worried. Joe had gotten Parks and Allen's permission to share the details, and Singh was happy to spare them the trauma of explaining it themselves when they returned.

"Cal miscarried a tubal pregnancy today."

There were quiet gasps around the room, and more than one mother brought a hand to her own abdomen.

"She was about 8 weeks along, Joe says they had no idea. It caused the tube to rupture, and the doctors performed emergency surgery to remove it. She will make a full recovery, but it'll take time, and I don't just mean physically. Most of us can't begin to imagine what Cal and Barry are going through right now - whether this pregnancy was planned or unexpected, it doesn't matter - they just lost a baby. They may not have badges but they are two of _our_ own that just lost one of _their_ own, and we will take care of them. She doesn't want visitors outside of family right now, but we _will_ be ready to be there for them when they need us. Understood?"

A chorus of yes sirs answered him, and he nodded at them at large. "Good. Back to work."

* * *

It was another half hour before Barry reappeared in the waiting room, red-eyed and sniffling. "She, uh, she's asleep again. This has been really, uh...really hard on her body, she might be out for a while. You guys don't have to stay."

"The hell we don't," Cisco said, rising from his chair. "She doesn't have to be awake to need us." He clapped Barry on the shoulder as he walked quickly down the hall, disappearing into his best friend's room. Barry smiled wanly after him.

"Someone else can go see her, too," he continued, turning back to them. "I'm sleeping here as long as she is, so I don't need to monopolize her bedside chair right now."

"One of you go," Iris said to Eddie and Caitlin. "I'm going to sit with Barry and my dad for a while before I go see her." Eddie turned to Caitlin, offering her his arm.

"But the doctor said only two people," she protested even as she let him lead her away.

"Watch this." Eddie flashed his badge and the attending nurse waved them both through.

Barry sat heavily in a chair between the members of his foster family, wrapping an arm around Iris and leaning into Joe, who reached around his son's shoulders to hold his head securely against his shoulder. They sat like that, as they had many times in the past fifteen years, quietly taking and giving comfort.

"I'm so sorry, Barry," Iris whispered after a few minutes. His arm tightened around her shoulders, and they held him as he began to shake with sobs.

* * *

This seemed the most suitable place to end this. Poor Barry and Cal :(

They're strong though. They'll get through it.

Will be continued in Part 2.


	15. Chapter 15

Okay guys, I'm honestly, genuinely sorry about the long wait for part 2 of the last installment. This still isn't that. I'm really, really struggling with rewriting the work I accidentally deleted, and rather than force out a subpar chapter and really let you guys down I decided to follow the inspiration. I still have the document up and pinky promise to work on it every single day until I can make it into something worthy of you guys' time.

Until then, this is me connecting "Rupture", "The Runaway Dinosaur," and "Invincible" together for the purposes of introducing a major character twist, so it's on the long side and there are spoilers. I thought about splitting it into two parts, but it just makes more sense as one long one-shot. The season finale isn't included because it's obviously not out yet. There are some big changes coming, and I really hope you guys like the direction I'm taking the story. Ahsilaa and Kelly were both massively on board, and I'm hoping you will be too!

This opens halfway through Rupture, replacing the scene where Iris tells Barry she wants to be with him. That obviously isn't happening here because Eddie is still alive and they're married at this point, so it's Cal talking to Barry about what she wants for him instead. Just like with the season 1 finale, lots of dialogue taken from the show/changed/rearranged/adjusted, etc.

I don't own the Flash. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

"It should be an easy decision. Why isn't it?" Barry asked his fiancee as he paced back and forth.

Cal raised her signature eyebrow. " _Should_ it be easy? Getting hit by another particle accelerator explosion, risking exposing others? I'd be _more_ worried if you could make this decision at the drop of a hat."

Barry shrugged, chuckling humorlessly. "I thought bringing my dad here would make this easier. It's just made it a lot harder."

"I mean, you understand him not wanting you to do it. _I_ definitely understand."

He stopped and looked at her, realizing she had yet to give a firm opinion one way or the other. "Nia, do you want me to do it?"

Cal studied him for a long time before she sighed and pushed her glasses up onto her head. "Barry, instead of answering that question, I'm going to tell you something I've never told you before."

"What's that?"

"I fell in love with you long before I figured out you were the Flash."

Barry laughed out loud, but when he glanced at her, she wasn't laughing with him. "Wait, are you...are you serious?"

She nodded, lips quirking up in a half smile. "Yeah, B. Your awkward sweetheart thing did it for me from day one, it was barely weeks and I was ass over teakettle. Very much confused about your behavior, but also very much in love."

Barry furrowed his brow, flattered but confused. "Okay...Why are you telling me this now?"

Cal stepped forward, sliding both arms around his neck. "Because you need to know that I don't care if you're the Flash, Barry. I just want you to be happy. If that means staying like you are now, I want that. If that means setting off the particle accelerator, I want _that_. I want whatever makes _you_ happy, and I'll love you no matter what that is."

Barry could only look down at her, at a loss for words, before he took her face in his hands and kissed her soundly. He was grinning when he pulled away.

"Did I ever get around to asking you to marry me?"

"You know, you did, actually. Christmas party, Frank Sinatra, shiny ring." She wiggled the fingers of her left hand in his face for emphasis.

"Oh yeah, I remember now. That was a good idea."

* * *

After Henry stepped away from his son Cal began climbing the machine, ignoring Harry's offended cries. When she reached eye level with Barry she gripped the front of his suit firmly in both hands and kissed him hard.

"I love you, and I support this. I'll be right here the whole time."

He nodded, another tear spilling over as he wished he'd hugged her one more time before strapping himself in. "Thank you. I love you too."

* * *

At first, after she'd pulled herself to her feet following the explosion, Cal refused to believe what her eyes were showing her.

 _It's a trick of the light_ , she told herself insistently, _I'm still just not seeing properly._

Because she couldn't see Barry. All she could see was his suit, in tatters on the ground. She could hear Iris's ragged breathing behind her as she stumbled forward, only to be stopped in her tracks as Zoom appeared right in front of her. Her blood ran cold when he spoke.

"You thought you could give the The Flash his speed back? Well done. You killed him instead."

He was gone before Cal's knees hit the floor.

"No," tumbled from her lips, softly at first. "No, no, no…" Then she was crawling forward on her hands and knees toward the remains of the suit. "No, no no NO NO NO! NO! BARRY!"

When her fingers finally touched the ruined fabric, she gasped - a raw, animalistic sound. Pain lanced through her head and chest as she suddenly found herself drowning with confusion, and fear, and the feeling of being horribly alone. She continued to gasp uselessly for air as the foreign emotions washed over and overwhelmed her, and she only distantly felt her elbows give out as she crashed to the floor, dropping the material.

"Cal!" Cisco was at her side immediately and pulling her into his arms when another wave of pain struck her, accompanied by similar feelings of fear and confusion. She cried out, rolling away from him and holding up a hand to keep him at bay as the pain receded and her lungs finally felt like they could expand again. "Wha-"

"It's Barry!" she gasped out, still holding out a hand as her chest heaved. "He's alive, I - I felt him."

"What do you mean, Cal?" Henry asked, voice thick with tears and the slightest tinge of hope.

"I don't know, but I - I know I did, I felt scared and alone and-and confused but it wasn't me, it, it was Barry. It was Barry, he's alive." She looked at Cisco with tear-filled eyes. "I know it was him. It had to be."

Cisco looked up at the others before reaching a hand out to touch the intact Flash symbol, and after a moment he started to grin. "She's right. I saw Barry. He's alive."

"Oh thank god," Henry said.

"Kid, how did you know that?" Joe asked warily.

"I...I don't know." Cal sat back on her haunches, looking from her hands to the suit. "I touched the Flash symbol and it was like I could feel everything Barry was feeling. Then when Cisco touched me, I could feel him too, and it hurt. I can...I can still feel him." And she could. It lingered at the edges now and no longer caused her pain, but now that she was breathing normally and could calm down in the knowledge that Barry was alive, she could tell very distinctly that it was Cisco's fear and confusion she was feeling in addition to her own. She looked back up to see her extended family staring at her as realization dawned on their faces.

"We knew this might happen," Harry said almost defensively before anyone could say it out loud.

"Oh my God, Cal," Eddie breathed. "You...you're…"

"A metahuman," Cisco finished.

Cal blinked owlishly as that information sunk in. "...holy shit."

"Holy shit is right, but right now we need to worry about how to bring Barry home," Harry said before they could get too carried away. "We need all the help we can get. Jesse?" he said into the intercom.

There was no answer.

"Jesse? Wally?" Harry and Joe exchanged fearful glances, turning to sprint from the room with Iris on their heels.

* * *

"Thank you for your help, Harry," Cal said to him from across the lab. Fearing the horrible pains she'd felt upon physical contact, she was keeping a safe distance from Harry and Cisco as they worked. She was trying not to let herself focus too long on what was happening to her, knowing that bringing her fiance home was far more important. "I know how you're feeling about Jesse right now."

"No offense, Parks, but you don't," he said.

"Actually I do," she returned, eyebrow raised. "You're sort of radiating with it. It's making it hard to breathe and I haven't even touched you."

He stopped to look at her for a moment and then sighed. "So you do. Tell me, can you feel everything we're feeling?" He gestured to himself and Cisco.

Cal shrugged. "I dunno. I've only had these...abilities, I guess...what, three or four hours? I think it's the fear that makes my chest hurt, but worry makes it feel tight, those are what I'm getting from you now. Cisco's excited but trying to hide it, probably about me having powers, and that makes me feel kind of...dizzy? Physical contact makes it about ten million times stronger."

Harry nodded as he got back to work. "Heightened empathic abilities exacerbated by physical contact. Interesting." Flipping open his pocket knife, he tried to pry open a small panel to get to its wiring, but as Cal watched the blade slipped and sliced into his thumb.

"Ow!" Cal and Harry cried in unison, both grabbing their thumbs in identical gestures. Their eyes snapped together as Cisco looked between them.

Looking down, Cal could see that there was no blood and the skin of her thumb was intact, but she could clearly recall the sensation of the blade cutting her own flesh that was fading with every passing moment.

"What was that?" Cisco asked.

"I cut myself and Parks felt it," Harry stated thoughtfully. "It's not just heightened emotional cognizance, the dark matter must have affected her mirror neurons. Her brain does more than empathize with other people's feelings and experiences, it replicates them."

"Well that's just fucking fantastic," she said. "I thought mirror neurons were only proven to exist in monkeys, they're still just a theory in humans."

"Not on my Earth."

* * *

"Turn it on. We got to try again." Cisco moved around the panel to put on the headset and met everyone's eyes. "Any of you got a better idea?"

"When you look into the Speed Force, can someone else see into it too?" Henry asked.

"Well as long as you're in physical contact with Ramon while he's vibing, then...yes." Harry said.

"Let me do that," Henry said. "I can get Barry to come back."

"No," Cal said suddenly, stepping forward. "Let me do it. Please." But Henry was already nodding - Cal was the more appropriate choice.

"But you can't touch anyone without their emotions physically hurting you," Iris said, worry in her tone.

Cal only shrugged, stepping towards her best friend. "For Barry, it's worth it. Just...try to stay kinda chill, maybe?" Cisco nodded.

"Cal..." Joe said. When she turned to face him, he only gazed at her for a moment before nodding. She smiled at him in return, feeling his love and concern settling like a warm blanket over her shoulders.

Cisco offered his hand to her, and she stared at it for a long time, breathing evenly, before she reached up and took it with her own. She hissed through her teeth, but the now-familiar pain was somewhat lessened from earlier in the day, and she could tell Cisco was trying very hard to stay relaxed. She forced herself to breathe for a solid minute before she opened her eyes again and nodded at him.

"Let's do this."

He nodded back and placed his hand on the suit.

* * *

The lightning was so similar to Barry's that Cal couldn't find it in herself to be scared. She could feel him again, the calm, gentle kindness she'd fallen in love with washing over her, and she reached her hand out.

"Barry!"

She felt a spike of love. He heard her.

"Barry! Come home to me!"

And there he was, reaching towards her with that brilliant smile shining on his face, and then his hand grasped hers.

"Barry!" His father was there, clapping him on the back, and then Iris was in his arms, and then finally Cal, locked in a death grip around his neck and shaking.

"I am so glad you're back." Barry held her more tightly, lifting her feet from the ground.

"Yeah," Cisco started, "I'm so glad you're back too, 'cause we're about to die."

"Wait, what?"

* * *

It was more than an hour after defeating Zombie Girder before Barry had the chance to pull Cal into an empty lab, free from the eyes and ears of their friends and family.

"Is it true, what Cisco said about how you knew I was alive?"

She took a deep breath before she looked into his eyes and nodded. He inhaled sharply, head reeling.

"So - you, you were..."

"Affected by the particle accelerator," she gave a noncommittal shrug. "I'm a metahuman now, too." The words felt strange rolling off her tongue for the first time.

He took a step towards her. "Nia, I'm-"

" _Don't_ say you're sorry, B. We...we all knew this was a possibility." But her eyes were starting to water. "Just, please don't feel sorry and be anything but your sweet loving self around me, because you're the only-" she cut off with a sniff, reaching out to grab his hand, "-you're the only one that doesn't _hurt_ and I really _really_ need that right now-"

And Barry was gathering her up in his arms, letting her cry as she finally began to process the changes that were happening inside her. They stayed like that for a long time, Barry sliding them to the floor so he could hold her more fully and let his love wash over. He whispered in her ear that he'd be there for her every step of the way.

* * *

"You guys need to come quick, Caitlin's back," Cisco said quickly, already turning to run back down the hall to the medical wing.

Barry and Cal rushed to follow him, only for Cal to stop before they reached the door as she was hit with a stab of nausea. Barry stopped with her, looking down in concern.

"I'm fine, just - she's still scared and in shock and I..." she gulped, slightly green. "Really shouldn't get closer."

Barry nodded, a little overwhelmed himself at the idea of getting used to this. He heard his father confirming Caitlin was in shock as he moved into the room to talk to their friend. She was clearly terrified and overwhelmed, insisting they couldn't stop Zoom. Barry did his best to soothe her fears, encouraging her to rest as he guided her from the room and began explaining what happened while she was gone.

Cal steeled herself as they drew closer, smiling at her friend the best she could as the nausea of her shock roiled through her stomach. As they passed her, however, she could no longer trust herself to stay in control and turned on her heel, nearly running in the other direction as Caitlin looked after her. She turned to Barry, confused.

"That's...part of the story. Don't worry, she'll be fine when everyone's calmed down a bit. You need to rest."

* * *

Cal left to follow Caitlin and Cisco when Joe asked to speak with Barry, stopping when she saw her friend frozen in the hallway. Suddenly he snapped out of it. "Birds! Why? It's like a Hitchcock movie in my head."

"Did you just vibe again? It makes your emotions sort of disappear, like somebody hit the mute button."

"That's weird."

She stood next to him several minutes later, gazing at their work so far when he gave a frustrated sigh and threw his marker at the board. She turned to him, startled at the spike in his frustration, as Caitlin turned around, sporting the ghost of a smile.

"I thought throwing things was Harry's preferred method of dealing with stress."

"That is how frustrated I am right now. I'm - just running out of ideas as to how to make this work. Where's Barry? I need a taste of that 'walking on sunshine' thing he's got going on right now."

"BFF, you need to calm your tits right now," Cal chuckled, placing a hand on his back unthinkingly. Instead of a shock of pain and a wave of his frustration, however, she felt the tension drain out of him as it was replaced by a peaceful calm.

Cisco closed his eyes in relaxation for a moment, before straightening and spinning around. "Girl what did you just do to me?"

Cal was staring at her hand with part incredulity and part resignation. "Okay, this is getting ridiculous, this can stop now."

"Did you just _influence_ his emotions?" Caitlin asked, eyebrows shooting up.

Cal turned to her, still torn about this new development. "It looks that way." Suddenly a look of contemplation crossed her face, and she crossed the few steps to reach the other female scientist, laying a hand on her arm. She could feel her friend's fear, sadness, and helplessness, and even the nugget of anger she didn't realize she was carrying. Cal couldn't take them away, but without knowing how she was doing it she softened the emotions, covered them with a blanket of calm so Caitlin could deal with them without being overwhelmed by them.

Caitlin gasped quietly as Cal drew her hand away, and tears filled her eyes as she gave a small, true smile.

"Thank you."

* * *

"Parks, can I borrow you for a moment?" Harry asked, distracting everyone from their victory over the metahumans.

"Sure, Harry," she shrugged. "What's up?"

"Dad and I were able to put the MRI back together, but as an fMRI from our Earth," Jesse said as they began moving through the halls to the MRI room. "We should be able to see your mirror neurons in action."

Barry squeezed Cal's hand as she stepped forward tentatively to lay on the machine. Harry and Jesse went to work as the machine slowly drew her in, and scans of her brain appeared on the computer screens in front of them.

"Watch the screen, Parks," Harry instructed, and security footage began to play from a few days prior, when Harry cut his thumb and they both reacted. She reacted again as she watched the video, wincing at the sharp pain as parts of her frontal lobe began lighting up like a Christmas tree before Harry turned off the recording.

"Alright Allen, now touch her leg to stimulate the emotional connection." Barry nodded and slipped his fingers under the cuff of her jeans to touch her bare ankle. She gasped, and her neural activity responded accordingly.

"That's incredible," Henry breathed out.

"It's definitely her mirror neurons," Harry confirmed as he ejected her from the machine. "They're connecting on a quantum level. Parks can not only sense and influence the emotions of others, when she sees someone experience pain, her mirror neurons replicate the signals so she experiences that same pain without the actual physical injury."

"I'm gonna pinch myself in front of you all the time," Cisco teased.

"I'll just pinch you again," Cal eyed him as Barry helped her sit up, and then Cisco cried out in pain.

"Oh, are you kidding me?!" he shouted.

"What?" Cal asked. "What happened?"

"You talked about pinching me and then it felt like someone pinched my arm!" Cisco complained, looking at his best friend accusingly. "You just Crucio'd me!"

"Wait, _I_ did it? Without even touching him?" Cal looked around at them, shocked. "What am I, psychic now?"

"No," Harry insisted. "It's still your mirror neurons. They're so powerful they can stimulate others via that quantum connection to send false sensory information. Again, experiencing pain without actual physical injury."

"Okay this is some seriously Twilight Zone level shit," Cal groaned, dropping her head into her hands. "Was there anyone like this on Earth-2?" She knew they hadn't met her doppelganger during their trip, and neither Harry nor Jesse had ever mentioned the alternate version of her.

"Not that I heard of," Harry said.

"This is actually kind of awesome," Cisco said, starting to grin again. "It's sort of like that Wachowski show on Netflix, Sens8!" He suddenly gasped, eyes widening. "Dude. Sensate."

The rest of the group groaned in unison, even as Cal began laughing almost hysterically as the mental exhaustion from the past few days finally caught up with her.

"You know what, if the only good thing I get out of this is one of Cisco's cool names, I'll take it."

* * *

(hides behind laptop)...well? What do you think?

There will be more to come about how Cal learns to control her abilities as Sensate and how they affect her life and her relationship with Barry, but this was just supposed to be the story of how she begins her journey as a metahuman. I hope you guys liked it, and if not, please let me know why so I can keep this going in a direction you guys are happy with!

Please drop a review letting me know if you liked it. I don't think I've ever been this nervous to post a chapter before.


	16. Announcement

Hello everyone!

I'm sorry it's been so long, you guys, and I'm sorry that this isn't a new chapter yet. I'm also sorry if you follow more than one of my stories, in which case you'll be reading this multiple times.

I'm going to start off with the good news - I'm buying a house! My boyfriend and I are in the process of closing on the cutest little house that's just over a hundred years old and sits on nearly half an acre. It's in a great location for us, with lots of space for us to spread out and a great detached garage for my boyfriend to have his glassblowing studio. I fell in love with it the moment I saw the pictures and knew it had to be ours the second we stepped inside.

The bad news, guys, is that this house is a serious fixer-upper. It needs love. Like, epically enormous shit-tons of love. Hardwood floors need to be sanded and refinished, carpet and tile ripped up and replaced, the roof needs fixing, the driveway needs to be relaid, the windows need to be replaced, the entire inside needs scrubbed and painted, among about a dozen other things. And we've got to do most of it ourselves.

We have four months to work on this house and get it up to living conditions before our current lease runs out on our apartment, and we're going to have to spend basically every waking moment outside our day jobs to do it. I also have to buy a new car - the cost to fix the air conditioning is more than my current car is even worth, AKA D'Artagnan's driving around in 100 degree weather with no AC! - which means I'll probably be working more hours at my day job in addition to playing handywoman.

Which means my writing has to take a backseat. I know I'm already flaky at best, so I really didn't want to just leave you guys hanging for six months before I suddenly popped up out of the woodwork with a flurry of new material. I honestly wouldn't expect to see anything out of me until after the new year at best, unless we manage to really power through these renovations and I get some relaxation time again. Until then, I'm not even going to try to make time to write because I need to focus on my other priorities.

I also hope to use this as an opportunity to come back fresh in six months. I almost feel burned out from trying so hard to write and it's starting to make me a little resentful of my stories - they feel like a chore rather than a treat. I want the process to feel fun again, and I really hope this forced vacation from writing will also be just the thing I need to get my inspiration and creativity back.

I hope you guys know how much I love and appreciate you, and how much it means to me that you've connected to my characters, especially Cal and Rymer. I hope you can be patient with me while I work on the next big step in my life, because I promise I'll make it worth the wait!

Thank you guys so much!

All the love,

D'Artagnan


	17. Chapter 16

Special shoutout this installment goes to Littlewolftale, a guest reviewer who left three incredibly sweet reviews on both Feeling Good and Put Another Dime in the Jukebox. I'd been wanting to sit down and write a bit and those reviews (the first in a while) really kickstarted the initiative, so you have them to thank for getting the ball rolling again!

I'm trying to slowly ease my way back into things. It's been a long few months and I'm ready to start writing again. I missed you guys! I hope you enjoy!

Set in episode 3 of season 2. What happened when Patty gave Barry her phone number?

I don't own the Flash or anything else you recognize. Consider yourselves disclaimed.

* * *

Barry smiled to himself as he stepped into Jitters, deciding he would surprise Cal with a latte and her favorite brownie. She had shouldered his lab duties for the past couple of days as he helped the Snarts with their dad situation, and he knew she'd appreciate the gesture. He pulled out his phone as he stood in line to let her know he'd be at the station soon.

"Fancy seeing you here," came a smiling voice from Barry's left. He took a moment to finish typing his message to Cal before he looked up, only to laugh as he realized he was running into Patty Spivot at Jitters yet again. "We have to stop running into each other like this!" she laughed, coffee in hand as she approached him.

"I know, we should just make a schedule or something," he joked, slipping his phone back into his pocket. He liked Patty. She was funny and nice and fun to joke around with, and it was always good to make a friend that got his nerdy references.

"Okay great, well, then I'll just have, you know, my people call your people."

"See, that's the problem," he said with mock seriousness. "Neither one of us have people, so how are we possibly gonna do this?"

He expected it to end there with maybe a laugh and a 'see you later', and was surprised when she handed him her coffee cup and pulled a small notebook from her pocket. He watched as she scribbled something down and ripped out the piece of paper, unsure what she was doing.

"There. My number."

Barry's eyebrows shot up as he realized what was happening, and how Patty had likely been interpreting their conversations for the past several weeks. "Oh!"

Suddenly Patty's smile was nervous. "That...that's what you meant, right?"

Barry found himself stammering as he tried to get his bearings and save his ass without hurting her feelings. "Oh, uh, yeah, I..."

He knew he was unsuccessful when her face fell slightly. "No. No, you didn't. Um, you know what though, I've actually been meaning to give you my number, you know, in case you had questions about a case. You know, sometimes when you call through dispatch, it gets all jammed up, and this is efficient. And as law enforcement colleagues, efficiency is important, _aaand_ I'm just embarrassing myself even more now aren't I?"

Barry let out a chuckle and smiled apologetically. "No, not at all. Look, Patty, I am so, so sorry if I've been giving you the wrong impression. But, uh...you do know that Cal and I...you know we live together, right?"

Patty froze as the smile completely dropped from her face and her cheeks turned scarlet, which was all the answer he needed. "I, I, I had no idea! Barry, I _swear_ I had no idea, I've never seen you guys acting like a couple and I thought you were just really good friends and lab partners and no one told me you were together. I would _never_ have thought you were flirting with me if I knew, oh my God I can't believe I've been flirting with someone who's already taken!"

Barry's eyes widened at her outburst. "Hey, hey, it's fine! It's not a secret, but we try not to advertise it when we're on the clock. It's been more than a year and I don't think everyone at the station has even realized we're together, let alone living together."

This didn't seem to placate her. "Wow. I'm just, I'm gonna go now and find a hole where I can stick my head, and I will see you later." She was already starting to walk off as she spoke, even as Barry made to stop her. "Oh no wait," she continued almost to herself, turning to take back her coffee before all but fleeing Jitters.

Barry stood there blinking after her for a few moments, before shaking his head and turning back towards the counter to place his order. He'd figure it out how to deal with this later.

Fifteen minutes later he walked through the double doors to see Cal hunched over a microscope in their shared lab, harmonizing and swaying a little to Fatboy Slim. "Hey sweetheart," he smiled, tugging on one of the long pigtails she'd braided her hair into and setting down her coffee and pastry next to her open laptop.

Her smile lit up her face as she turned to face him. "B! You'll _never guess_ who I was just talking to!"

"The Pope?"

"Younger."

"The president?"

"Girlier."

"Your sister?"

"Blonder."

The eyebrow was out in full force and Barry laughed as he realized what she was getting at. "I take it Patty was just here."

"Practically falling over herself to apologize. Took me a minute to figure out why." She was grinning widely, eyes sparkling behind her glasses, not a trace of anger in her features as she pulled her brownie from the paper bag. "It was probably the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"She was so embarrassed, and I had no idea what to say when I realized what was happening," he said, moving over to his own desk. "I feel so bad for leading her on, I didn't realize she thought I meant something more by our conversations." He wasn't concerned that Cal would suspect him of flirting back on purpose - she knew him better than that.

"Sometimes you're just too sweet for your own good," the redhead giggled, turning back to her microscope and taking a large bite of brownie. "'e 'usht can'elp ourshelfsh."

"What did she say to you?"

"A lo' uhf - sh'rry." She stopped to chew and swallow; she hadn't expected the sticky caramel filling, and gave Barry an approving thumbs up. "A lot of it was kind of jumbled together, but she apologized about forty times and I distinctly remember her insisting that she's 'not the office hussy'." Cal couldn't help but snort as she repeated the flustered detective's words. "Cutest fucking thing."

"What did you tell her?"

"That I, of all people, totally get what she sees in you and that we should hang out sometime since we _clearly_ have the same excellent tastes. It'll probably take her a while to realize I was serious."

Barry grinned at the back of her head, leaning back in his chair. "You're basically amazing, you know that?"

He could hear the smile in her voice even though she kept peering into her microscope and scribbling down her findings. "Takes one to know one, superhero."

* * *

Hope you guys liked it!

Like I said, it's been a long few months. The house fell through, my guy quit a truly terrible job and is opening new businesses that aren't bringing in much money yet, and we've had a brutally slow season at work so I'm not seeing as many clients as I really need to keep my bills paid and we're having to get creative with how we spend. But the past few weeks I've been thinking more and more about Cal and Barry and how much I missed them, so I decided it would probably benefit everybody to spin out a quick fluffy read. It was weird getting back into the swing of things, but Ahsilaa and I were both happy with how it turned out. Hopefully I'll have some more time and inspiration soon!

Thank you to everyone for sticking with me and caring so much about Cal!

Oh hey guess what! I got engaged!


	18. Chapter 17

Thank you everyone for the congratulations on my engagement :) The wedding's in four and a half months and I've never been so excited. I'm gonna be Mrs. Martin!

This one hit me out of nowhere as I was watching this episode and thinking about how stupid Barry and Wally were both being. It evolved into more than I was planning, but I'm really happy about it as it marks an interesting turning point Cal's life and the first time I've written about Carry truly speaking to each other in anger. A little angsty and sad (I'm not gonna lie, I did cry a little writing it), but something I'm ultimately happy with and proud of. I hope you like it!

* * *

"You know, Joe and Iris told me a lot about you. Made out like you could walk on water or something. But they never mentioned anything about you being a coward," Wally mocked, starring Barry down.

"Okay, _enough_!"

The West-Allen family all turned in surprise towards Cal, who had nearly shouted over Joe as she violently threw the broom she was using to the ground.

"I am so sick of this! You know what, Wally, you two may have gotten off on the wrong foot, but you are sure as shit not going to find the right foot if the only way you're capable of behaving is childish and belligerent! Barry, you need to get your ass down off its high horse and treat Wally like he's worth a fucking second of your time!"

When both young men started protesting, Cal pulled her hair in frustration and screamed once, loud and short, cutting them off.

"GET OVER YOURSELVES! Barry, you are _Joe's son_ , you are _Iris's brother_! No one on Earth could ever take your place, not even Wally, so you need to stop acting like he stole your favorite toys and start treating him like the brother that he should be to you! Wally, it is NOT Barry's fault that you grew up without your father and sister, and it is _certainly_ not his fault that Joe stepped up when Barry needed a family! Stop blaming him for living the life you wish you had and start making a new life with him in it! Jesus fucking Christ on a goddamn pogo stick, WHY am I the only person in this family who goes to fucking THERAPY?!"

There were several long moments of silence as Cal breathed hard, glaring at both of them as her family stared back at her in shock. When she spoke again, her voice was much calmer than they expected.

"If you two would take ten minutes to just sit down and talk. Just ten minutes making a real effort to get to know the other person, who they really are instead of who you've made them out to be in your head, you'd be joined at the fucking hip. God, you are _so_ alike and you both just refuse to see it! Why? What is so wrong with a little more family? Do you have so much that you can afford to cut any of them away for not a single goddamn good reason at all?"

"Says the woman who's never even seen her best friend's grave just because she's scared to go home," Barry snapped, nearly vibrating with anger.

Cal reeled back like she'd been slapped, blinking almost comically and letting out a faint gasp. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but no more sound came out. After a few moments she straightened, steeled her features, and walked across the room and out the front door, picking up her satchel along the way. She didn't make eye contact with any of them and avoided looking at Barry altogether, instead walking briskly to her cherished Thunderbird and driving away.

"Bartholomew Henry Allen, how dare you?" Iris spoke first, low and deadly, after the last glimpse of cherry red had rounded the corner.

"Wh - me?! You heard her, she's the one who started psychoanalyzing us first!"

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Joe hissed. "You just threw Torionne's suicide in her face! Today of all days, Barry!"

"What do you mean, today of all days?" Barry asked, confused.

"Today was his birthday, Barry!" Iris said. "Did you forget we were going to the park later to light candles for him? Like we've been planning for three weeks now?"

Realization and overwhelming guilt crashed into him as he suddenly found himself stumbling back to sit on the stairs. "Oh my God. Oh my God, what on earth did I just do?"

"I don't know Barry, but I have never seen her like that. You need to fix what you just screwed up," Iris said, stalking from the room. "And maybe take her advice while you're at it!" she called back over her shoulder.

Barry looked to Joe for some kind of help or suggestion, but the older man just shook his head and followed his daughter into the kitchen, leaving Barry alone with a visibly uncomfortable Wally. The speedster buried his head in his hands, groaning at the mess he'd made. He hadn't let his temper get the better of him like that since he said Joe wasn't his father.

"Hey, Barry, look...I'm sorry, man."

Barry gave a humorless chuckle. "Don't be, Wally, this is my fault."

Wally returned the chuckle, though a little more sincerely. "No, not for that - that was definitely your fault. No, I meant...I meant she was right. I just...I finally had a dad, and a sister, but...there was already a brother in the picture, where I should have been all along, and they love you so much, Barry. I was jealous. But Cal was right, none of that's your fault and I shouldn't have acted like it was. I'm sorry."

Barry gazed up at him, before looking down at the offered hand. After a moment, he reached out and shook it. "I'm sorry too, Wally. Cal was right about me too - like she usually is."

"Who is Torionne?"

Barry sighed, shoulders slumping. "Someone whose memory I never should have used the way I did. God, she's never gonna forgive me."

"I really like her."

This time the humor in Barry's chuckle was real. "Hey now, down boy."

"I just mean, she's really strong, and smart, and not afraid to tell you what you need to hear. She's just...real, you know?"

"Yeah," Barry sighed, nodding in agreement. "I know. Can you tell Iris and Joe I went home to talk to her and I'll see them at the park tonight?"

"Do you need a ride? She took the car..."

"No, Wally, I'll be fine. Walking home will give me some time to figure out how to make this up to her. I'll see you."

* * *

"Cal? Sweetheart?"

The apartment was dark when he got home, and quiet and stale smelling, not full of music and the scent of the vanilla bean candles Cal loved as Barry was used to. After a quick flash through the small space, he knew she wasn't home. He had walked at normal speed, so there was no way she wouldn't beat him here in the car. He debated for a moment about calling her, knowing she might have taken a drive to clear her head. He decided to call, risking her anger if she wasn't ready to hear from him.

It went straight to voicemail. "Hey, Nia, it's me. I just got home and you haven't made it back yet...I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I mean, I know, you're not okay, but..." He sighed. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. Please call me back."

* * *

Barry still hadn't heard from her two hours later, and her phone was still going straight to voicemail and he was quickly filling up her inbox. While he was worried, he knew she would never miss the candlelight vigil for Tori and walked swiftly to the park nearby to meet her there. She must be beyond furious to not even come home to talk to him about it.

"Barry!" he heard Caitlin call, glancing around until he saw his group of friends and family waiting for him under Cal's favorite tree. "Where's Cal?"

Barry stopped short. "Is she not here yet?" He glanced at his watch. Just after ten pm - he was a few minutes late, as usual. She should have been there.

"No, isn't she with you?" Caitlin asked.

"No, she never came home after...earlier," he managed, worry slowly beginning the burning transition into terror. "I thought she was just out for a drive and that I could see her here."

"What happened earlier?" Cisco asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"I...I said something...really awful, when she was just trying to help Wally and me get along. I know she must be furious with me, but there's no way she wouldn't have been the first one here."

"We haven't seen her," Joe said as Iris immediately pulled out her cell phone and dialed.

"Damn, straight to voicemail," she said after a moment.

"Has been all day," Barry said, mind beginning to race. "I don't care how mad at me she is, there is absolutely no way she wouldn't make it to this unless something was stopping her." Eddie pulled out his own phone and began speaking rapidly to the person who picked up.

"This is Detective Thawne, I need an APB out for Cal Parks, last seen driving a red 1959 Ford Thunderbird convertible, license plate GQF6443. She is employed with the CCPD and her safety may be at risk."

"I'll start driving around, see if I can find her anywhere," Wally offered, turning and running back to his car without waiting for a reply.

When he was out of earshot, Barry turned to the rest of Team Flash. "Who would take her and why?"

"Captain Cold's been silent for a while," Caitlin suggested.

"No," Barry said immediately. "This isn't his style, and Cal's a better shot than him anyway."

"What about Zoom?" Iris asked.

Barry thought hard for several moments. "No, I don't think so," he said slowly. "I hate to say it, but if he had Cal, if he knew what she meant to me, she'd already be dead and strung up in front of S.T.A.R. Labs. No, it has to be someone else. I'm going to-"

"What did you say to her?" Cisco cut him off. Barry looked at him in surprise. His eyes were narrowed and his tone was accusing.

"I...it's not important."

"If it was so bad that she ran off and was careless enough to get herself kidnapped then it's pretty fucking important, Barry."

"Look, I didn't-"

"He insinuated that Cal didn't care enough to bother to visit Tori's grave," Iris supplied quickly, uninterested in dragging things out. "He knows it's not true and that he shouldn't have said it."

"I don't care." The only reason the punch connected with the side of his jaw was because Barry had turned to glare at his foster sister and was no longer looking at his fiancee's closest friend and fiercest protector after himself. He hit the ground, dazed more from the surprise than the punch itself, as Cisco swore and shook out his hand.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, Barry Allen," he said, before turning to stomp towards his van. "I'm going to track her phone and find out the last place it pinged." Caitlin followed him after Barry waved her off, knowing the blow hadn't damaged more than some soft tissue and his pride. He'd pretty well earned it, anyway.

"I'm going to look for her too," he said to the ground, unwilling to look at Eddie, Joe, or Iris. "Call me if the APB turns up anything." Then he was gone.

* * *

"Barry, we found her car," Joe said into the comm system a mere twenty minutes later, and his son was suddenly there, pulling back his mask.

"Where is it, is she nearby?!"

"Barry, it's in long term parking at the airport. We're checking surveillance cameras now."

Barry's blood felt like it had turned to ice in his veins. "The airport? She's...she's...she's leaving me?"

"You don't know that, Barry," Caitlin said quickly. "We still don't know if she's the one who parked it there."

"She was," Eddie said, getting off the phone. "She paid for three days worth of parking and bought an airline ticket. We're trying to figure out where to."

But Barry had already pulled out his cell phone and accessed their banking information, turning white at the information on his screen. "Oh, no, baby, I didn't mean - I have to go."

"Barry wait!" Iris shouted after him, but he was already gone.

* * *

Barry knew she had a two hour head start on him, and it took nearly four hours for him to reach her destination, arriving just after midnight. He flashed through a gas station bathroom to change back into normal clothes before heading to a location he'd never been himself but would recognize the landmarks of in a heartbeat from Cal's detailed descriptions. He could see her mass of red hair from nearly a quarter mile away, and approached slowly as he could hear her speaking, her southern twang thicker than he'd ever heard it.

"...and they were just actin' like such brats, not makin' a lick'uh progress, and I always get so weird around your birthday and I just couldn't help it, I went bonkers on 'em. Screamin', pullin' my hair, a gen-u-ine Cal Parks anxiety tantrum. And Barry is usually so good with me when I get that way, but he was worked up and he said...he said..."

Barry's heart broke as he watched his fiancee sob in front of her best friend's tombstone.

"I'm sorry, Tori, God I'm so sorry. I miss you so much and I think about you every day, things I should have said or done or not said or not done. You were the best friend I could have ever asked for and I loved you so much, but I just couldn't come back, I couldn't. Please, please don't hate me. I'm sorry I couldn't come back, just please don't hate me anymore..."

Unable to stay away any longer, Barry found himself collapsing to his knees behind her, wrapping her tightly in his arms as his own tears wet the collar of her t shirt.

"I'm so sorry, Nia. I should never have said what I said, I know how much Tori means to you and why you've never come back here. I didn't mean for you to do this alone. I'm sorry, I love you so much."

At first shocked at his presence, Cal quickly turned to situate herself in his lap, clinging tightly around his neck as she sniffed. "Then why did you say it, Barry?"

"I don't have a good reason, just that I was angry at you for making me face things I didn't want to face and I lashed out. I had no right to make you feel like you're anything less than the beautiful, brave, kind woman I fell in love with and I don't think I can ever make this up to you. But I'm going to try. For the rest of my life, if that's what it takes."

Cal pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes. Vivid emerald searched deep moss green for several seconds before she took a deep breath and said, "Okay. I forgive you."

Barry nearly cried again, this time with relief. He moved to kiss her, but was stopped by a single finger against his lips.

"On one condition."

"I already made up with Wally."

Cal smiled. "That's good. I'm proud'uh you both. But that's not my condition."

"Anything," he breathed.

"I meant what I said about therapy, back at the house. You know how much it's helped me, how much it still helps me, and I think that with everythin' you carry around on your shoulders you need someone outside your current support system to help you deal with things in a healthier way. No more bottlin' it up 'til it starts poisonin' you and the people around you. Promise me that you'll make an effort to find a therapist that you can trust with both'uh your identities and see 'em regularly. I can't do this if you can't prove to me you're tryin' to be better, because _I am_ , Barry. The fact that I'm here is proof of that."

Barry was already nodding. "You're right. I promise I'll start looking for a someone as soon as we get home. Caitlin will probably know someone I can trust."

"Thank you," she smiled at him. "And B...thank you, for sayin' what you said."

"About therapy?"

"No, about Torionne. About comin' here. You were right."

"No, Cal, I-"

"No, Barry, you were. I've been terrified of this place for as long as I can remember, my first counselor at MIT was concerned that I could be borderline PTSD. But I'm an adult now, a grown woman with a great job and an amazin' fiance and the most incredible little ragtag family anyone could ever hope to find, and I can't let my fear'uh this place continue to rule my life. I hafta try and remember the good things too. Look up, honey."

Leaning his head back, Barry gasped. They truly were in deep south Oklahoma, and light pollution this far into the country was nearly non-existent. He had never seen so many stars so clearly without a telescope.

"This is the part of Oklahoma that I need to remember when I think about Tori," Cal whispered, gazing up alongside him. "Not bullies or bigots or systemic hatred, but stars and sunsets and fresh eggs right from the coop for breakfast. Thank you for remindin' me'uh that."

* * *

I hoped you liked it! Please drop me a review letting me know what you think!

In other news, I broke my toe at our company Christmas party last night. Fun times!


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